Page 69 of Once Upon an Apocalypse

“You can blame my dad for that one. A fireman who loved setting fire to his marshmallows.”

“Your dad was a fireman?” Mina asks as she licks the sticky sugar off her fingers. “No wonder you crave danger and adventure.”

“And I was the one to stitch them up afterwards.” My mom places her fresh marshmallows over the fire, looking at the flames with a sadness I know all too well. I place an arm around her waist and lay my head down on her shoulder. She pulls me into a deeper side hug, breathing in deeply to simmer down her grief. It’s been nearly fifteen years and the loss still feels raw. A grief that lives deep inside my heart, in a place that will never fully heal.

“Hey guys,” Jonah says as he walks up to our little huddle. I haven’t really spoken to Jonah in the last few months. At least not more than our neutral chats in the gym and cafeteria. Amos spends a lot of time with him though, picking his brain about Dr. Tuwile. Surprisingly, Amos hasn’t tried to kill Jonah like he promised he’d do if he ever met him.

“Hi, Jonah,” Mina says with a bright smile. Maybe a little too bright of a smile. Cal nudges her in the ribs and Mina quickly shifts her face to impartial. Jonah took my old room, so I’m sure he spends a lot of time with my old roommates. I don’t care how he spends that time. He’s a free man.

“Hey, Mina.” Jonah winks at her, that bright smile returning times a thousand. Yeah, definitely something there. I don’t hide my smile as I see Cal nudge Mina again and give Jonah a face that would scare the fiercest warrior.

“Want any marshmallows?” Mina asks, holding out the bag to Jonah.

My mom and I answer for him in unison, “Jonah hates marshmallows.”

“What!” Cal shouts. “What spawn of Satan are you?”

Jonah laughs at that as he takes the bag of marshmallows from Mina. “I dunno. Maybe I’ve grown out of it. It’s been ages since I tried one.”

“Mom, Hayden, and I would have a fire pit every week during the summer and make s’mores. Whenever Jonah joined us, he’d just take graham crackers and chocolate, balance them on two sticks to soften the chocolate and eat it sans marshmallow. Freaking weirdo.” I punch his arm in jest as I laugh at the many fireside memories we have together.

My mom’s hand slides into mine, giving it a quick squeeze before saying, “I’m going to mingle. You kids have fun.” She kisses my head, then spins on her heels to head to the next huddle of people around another firepit.

Jonah takes a marshmallow out of the bag and hesitantly holds it up, examining the fluffy treat with caution. He gives it a little squeeze before popping it in his mouth. His face instantly grimaces as he chews much longer than is needed for something that basically melts in your mouth.

“Disgusting. How are you guys just eating handfuls of these things?”

Cal, Mina, and I bark in laughter. I have to hold my stomach, which is full of the soft sugary treat as my cackling reaches an uncontrollable level. It’s like my body can’t get enough of this euphoric feeling. “Oh, Jonah. Some things never change.”

The joy on his face instantly shifts to sadness and pain. I could punch myself for how insensitive that last sentence was. Because everything has changed between us. We used to be inseparable. We used to be in love. We used to trust each other. And now? I might have a huge cache of childhood memories with Jonah, but I also have memories I wish I could erase. Sensing the rising tension between us, Cal and Mina turn their attention to the others huddled around our firepit.

“I’m sorry, Jonah. I didn’t mean to spoil the mood.”

“No, it’s…you didn’t spoil anything, Lori.” Jonah stares into the fire with a force that would cause an explosion if he had telekinetic powers. Then he turns that intensity on me, but it’s not anger, hate, or fear. It’s love. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you for some time, but I could never find the right moment.”

“Jonah, I–”

“Please let me finish, Lori.” Jonah takes a deep breath before continuing. “I know there’s too much time and change between us now. I know we can never go back to who we were. What we were to each other. All I ask is for your friendship. I want to move on. Move on from you. From the bunker. From who I became.”

Without hesitating, I open my arms to him. He falls into my embrace so naturally. When his arms close around me, I nearly cry. This is the Jonah I remember. The Jonah I loved. Yet, my love for him has evolved into something different. Perhaps that’s because my heart belongs to another. That doesn’t mean this love I feel is any less real.

“Of course we can be friends, Jonah.” His arms squeeze tighter around my shoulders before he releases me.

“You have no idea how much that means to me. Even though I don’t deserve your friendship.”

“I might not be able to forget what happened between us, but I forgive you, Jonah. It wasn’t fair to blame you when you were just as helpless as I was.”

Jonah holds back a sob, looking away to collect himself. When he turns back to me, there is sadness still written on his face, but it’s softer. Soon that sadness will be a ghost of a feeling for both of us.

“So…are you and Mina…” I don’t finish the sentence as I don’t really know what to ask. I’m just glad he wasn’t giving those side glances to Katie.

“No. I mean, maybe? I don’t know. I like her but I also don’t know how permanent my welcome is here. If I’ll be kicked out or killed once I’m no longer useful.” Jonah looks anywhere but my face as he rambles on.

“Jonah. No one is going to kill you.” I try to reassure him, but I don’t know how confident my voice sounds.

“So they’ll kick me out then?”

“No. They would kill you rather than kick you out to prevent you from leading other people here. No one is going to kill you.”

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