Page 88 of Once Upon an Apocalypse

I squeeze my mom to keep her from falling deeper into that thought. We rarely bring up my brother because it causes us so much pain not knowing if he survived the outbreak. When we do bring him up, we like to pretend that we know exactly where he is and what he’d be doing. Perhaps not the most healthy thing, but it’s our way of grieving.

Amos directs me to our table at the other end of the cafeteria. It’s decorated with colorful banners that say “Happy Birthday.”

“Isn’t this a little much?” I ask Amos, elbowing his side.

“I think it’s perfect. Plus, there’s an overstock of party supplies everywhere.”

My face drops. “I hope you didn’t ask anyone to go out and find these decorations.”

“No. We’ve been collecting this stuff for years. It’s important to celebrate life, Lori.”

I sit down, feeling exhausted from all the socializing I did in just thirty minutes. And hungry. I’m so freaking hungry. As if reading my thoughts, Amos slides a burger in front of me. My eyes go wide before lifting it up to my face. As soon as I take a bite, someone approaches the table. When I look up to find Jonah’s amused face, I relax and take another bite. Amos pulls out a chair, inviting him to sit with us.

“How are you feeling, Jonah?” Amos asks, picking up a homemade potato chip and tossing it in his mouth.

“On the mend. But I still haven’t been cleared for patrol. Physical therapy has been helping me stay in shape at least.”

“Jonah, you were shot with a freaking cannon ball. Even with accelerated healing, that injury is going to take a long time to heal all the way. It took me nearly six months to recover from—” I stop myself from continuing because I know the reminder of my torn up body will upset Amos and that is the last thing I want to do today. Not after he’d gone through all the trouble of setting up this birthday celebration for me. “Well, you know.”

Jonah nods, likely remembering those months because he didn’t come looking for me once. Or at least that’s what I thought at the time. It’s hard to forget how much I had hated Jonah. I’ve forgiven him since, for everything. But forgetting? Not sure if I’ll ever get there.

“I heard you two are retiring to live a domestic life inside the walls of The Valley. I’m a little surprised, but if anyone deserves it, it’s you two.”

“Thanks, Jonah,” I say with a smile. “I wouldn’t say we are retiring. We just want to focus on building safe communities around The Wall. And keep an eye on Norman. But also, we just want to enjoy living for now.”

Amos kisses my temple. “We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us. But it will all be worth it, especially if Norman can really create a cure for the virus.”

“It’s funny, the before feels like a fever dream,” Jonah says. “To think that there’s a possibility that every human can walk freely in the world, even if there’s a chance of getting bitten, and still make it out alive…that’s honestly the craziest idea to me right now.”

The three of us laugh at how absurd this world is. How quickly the idea of what is absurd has changed for us. Looking at Jonah, I can see in his eyes that he is truly happy here, but I also see the hint of regret there. A pain that will never go away. For both of us.

He does a better job swiping the pain away though, brightening up his smile as Mina approaches with Cal, saying, “What’s up, guys?”

Cal slides past to sit next to me, leaving the seat next to Jonah open. “Happy birthday, friend.”

I give Cal a side hug, muttering a shy, “Thank you,” before diving back into my burger. It’s very rare that we have burgers at The Valley. I know Amos ordered this as a special birthday gift to me and I am so incredibly grateful. I love this man.

As if reading my thoughts, Amos stands up, bringing everyone to attention. I try to stop him, not wanting more of a spotlight than I already have, but everyone is already quiet and staring at him.

“As you all know, today is my beautiful wife’s birthday.” Celebratory shouts echo off the walls in response to Amos’ joy. “I am in awe of this woman every day of my life and so grateful to have found her in this fucked up world.” Amos turns to me, a cup of home-brewed beer in his hand. “Thank you for saving me, Lori. Thank you for giving me a chance at a future. A future that will bring not only you, but everyone, many birthdays to come. To life and living in it.”

The cheers and clapping are louder than any of the crowds that came to see me fight in the arena. A sound that still causes my skin to freeze and stomach to churn, but I hold it together, grounding myself in the wake of Amos’ happiness. In my own happiness. Cal reaches out to calm my bouncing knee, squeezing my thigh gently before grabbing my hand. I squeeze their hand back, needing something physical to touch.

When Amos sits back down, he wraps his arm around my shoulders. “Did I say something wrong, Copperhead?”

I look up into his eyes, erasing the sounds of cheering from my mind to replace them with the celebratory whoops of my friends. Tears slide down my face. Not tears of sadness, but tears of joy.

“I’ll tell you about it later. But now, I just want to eat this burger and be with you in the here and now.”

Amos kisses me tenderly, lingering a moment which makes our tablemates clear their throats. I grab the abandoned burger on my plate, finishing it with a few more bites. Then I look at Jonah, whose hand is stroking Mina’s on the table. He looks so content. He’s been through so much. He deserves a life of peace too.

“Why are you so eager to heal and jump back into battle?” I ask him.

“I feel it is my responsibility to make things right. As much as I regret what I did in the bunker, in the outside world, following orders blindly, I still did those things. Me. There are others like me who haven’t woken up from the brainwashing. The ones who escaped after the raid. Some of them might be gladiators. I need to make sure they aren’t using their strength for bad. Aren’t hurting innocent people anymore. I need to make sure all the arenas have been shut down.”

“That’s not all on you, Jonah.” I say.

“I know. But I need to do something about it.”

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