Page 12 of The Mistake

‘I’ll do it.’ Eve hands Erin to Natalie, the baby stiff and angry as she screams in Natalie’s ear. Eve washes up a bottle and sterilises it with boiling water, before efficiently making up the milk andhanding it to Natalie. In the silence that follows, Eve turns to the dishwasher, opening it to find clean dishes, and starts unloading it.

‘I sent you a couple of texts,’ Eve says as she puts clean glasses in the top cupboard, ‘but you didn’t reply so I thought I’d pop in and see how you’re getting on. I’m glad I did now.’

Natalie vaguely remembers texts coming through, but she’d still been upset over the encounter at the supermarket, and she was going to reply later. She must have forgotten. ‘Don’t you have clients this afternoon, though?’

‘It’s OK. I’ve just … rescheduled a few things. Cancelled a couple of appointments.’

‘Eve, you shouldn’t do that. Don’t you only get paid if you actually see the client?’

‘Honestly, Nat? It’s one afternoon. I think you’re more important right now, and it’s not like Pete’s here to look after you. So, what’s happened to get you in this state?’

Something prickles along the nape of Natalie’s neck at the idea of Eve cancelling work for her, but she brushes it away. ‘I’m OK, really. I just need to …’ Natalie waves a hand in the direction of the bomb-site that is her kitchen. Zadie’s left her PE kit on the floor, Emily’s shoes are jumbled in a heap by the back door, and Natalie doesn’t even know when anyone last opened the post. Plus, the bin needs emptying.

‘Where’s Zadie?’

‘After school club. She’ll be home at five. Stu’s dropping her off on his way home from picking up Lola.’ Natalie glances at the clock. It’s 4.15 now.

Eve loads the dirty dishes and then turns to Natalie, wiping her hands on a tea towel. ‘How are you really, Nat? Don’t tell mefine, because I won’t believe you.’

‘It’s been a bit of a shit day.’ Natalie’s eyes fill with tears. ‘I’m just … so tired,’ she says, as Erin twists her head away from the now empty bottle. ‘Erin doesn’t sleep, at all. She keeps me up half the night; it feels like the moment I lie down she wakes up again.Pete is up and out of the house at five o’clock every morning, and he’s not been getting home until after Zadie’s gone to bed.’

‘Have you tried getting out of the house?’ Eve asks gently. ‘Getting some fresh air, maybe meeting up with some other new mums?’

Natalie lets out a harsh bark of laughter that jolts Erin, who lets out a cry. ‘I tried going to the supermarket earlier and even that turned into a nightmare.’ Natalie recounts the tale of the awful old lady at the milk fridge.

Eve holds out her arms and Natalie lays a crying Erin in them, taking the packet of tissues Eve has laid on the table and wiping her eyes.

‘Every baby is different, Nat, you know that. And that old lady … She’s probably forgotten what it was like to have a young baby.’

‘But she hates me, Eve. My own baby hates me.’ Natalie’s throat thickens and she has to force the words out. ‘She criesall the timefrom the moment I pick her up. She won’t feed from me, she only wants a bottle.’

‘She can probably feel you’re tense,’ Eve suggests, as Erin drops off in her arms. She lays her gently back in her bouncy chair and then moves to the fridge, pulling out cheese, garlic, tomatoes and pasta and starting to chop.

‘I don’t know how to feel any other way when she just screams twenty-four hours a day,’ Natalie says. ‘Zadie keeps wetting the bed, so I’m up half the night with her, if Erin does actually sleep. Pete keeps giving her juice with her dinner, and then he sleeps right through all the commotion – I think he’s woken up once. Add into that, Zadie is refusing to eat anything I put in front of her. I’m just … sick of them all.’ The words come out in a rush tinged with tears, and Natalie has no choice but to let out the sob that is threatening to strangle her. All she’s done since she got home is cry.

‘Oh, love.’ Eve shakes pasta into a pot of boiling water and then pulls Natalie into a hug, letting her cry until there is nothing left. ‘Have you thought about seeing the GP?’

‘The GP? What for?’ Natalie frowns. ‘I’m notdepressed, Eve. I’m just exhausted.’

‘I’m not saying you’re depressed, but if you speak to the GP he might be able to help. Give you some advice on getting Erin to sleep, or suggest some support groups or something.’ The air fills with the delicious scent of garlic as Eve throws the chopped vegetables into the pan and comes to sit beside Natalie, taking her hands in hers.

‘I don’t need to see the GP.’

‘Darl, it’s not a sign of weakness. You’re a new mum – take all the help you can get! No one’s going to judge you—’

‘Mum! I’m back!’ Zadie’s voice rings out from the hallway, and then she bustles into the kitchen, her backpack almost as big as she is. ‘Aunty Eve! Yay!’ Zadie throws herself into Eve’s arms, as Natalie frantically shushes her so she doesn’t wake the baby.

‘I hope you’re hungry, madam,’ Eve says with a laugh as she spins Zadie around the now spotlessly clean kitchen.

‘Starving,’ Zadie says, grinning to reveal a missing front tooth as Eve deposits her on a kitchen chair.

‘I hope you’re going to be able to eat this big bowl of pasta withno teeth,’ Eve teases as she drains the pasta and stirs it into the tomato sauce.

‘The tooth fairy was meant to bring me a pound last night, but she was on holiday,’ Zadie says, sticking her tongue on the gap.Shit. Natalie forgot all about it.

‘She’ll come tonight. Apparently it rained in Spain so she came home.’ Eve winks. Zadie giggles and Natalie watches with a knot of hard, green envy in her stomach as Zadie pounces on the bowl of pasta Eve hands her and proceeds to eat every bite. When she’s done, Eve clears the plates and Natalie walks her to the front door, already dreading the moment she leaves.

‘Listen, I’m not trying to interfere, but just think about it, OK?’ Eve says, as she steps out on to the front path. ‘Even if you just make an appointment and talk, get things off your chest, it mighthelp. And tell Pete to fucking step up. There shouldn’t be anything more important to him than you.’

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