Page 22 of The Mistake

Pete follows her gaze. There is no sign of Natalie, but he drops the hand holding the file, not wanting to make a scene. ‘Vanessa, I already explained to you this can’t happen. Me and you – it’s over.’

‘How can you say that?’ Vanessa’s eyes are glassy as she stares at him. ‘After everything?’

Pete swallows, the words sticking in his throat. ‘Ness, you can’t just turn up at my house like this. It’s not right.’

‘What else was I supposed to do? I love you, Pete. I can’t believe you could be this … this …cruel.’ Her voice breaks slightly, and Pete holds his breath.Please don’t cry. There’s no way I’ll be able to explain that to Natalie if she looks out of the window.

‘I’m sorry, Vanessa. I really am so, so sorry, but there is no us, there can’t be, I already told you that. I know I’ve hurt you, and I hate myself for that, but this really is it. Please don’t come here again. Please don’t try and contact me unless it’s about work.’

Vanessa’s mouth drops open in a soundless O, one fist pressed against her chest as if he has physically wounded her. ‘You’re making a massive mistake,’ she says, her voice rising. ‘You’re just like all the others, aren’t you? You’re no better than my dad – using me and then casting me aside when you’re done.’ Tears spill over her cheeks, mascara pooling under her eyes, and Pete feels a flicker of anger.

‘You knew my situation,’ he says, guiding her towards her car now. He needs to get her off his property before Natalie comes out to see what’s taking so long. ‘You can’t come to my house and threaten me, understand? And as for comparing me to your father? Iwantto stay with my family. I’m nothing like your fucking dad.’ He catches her features starting to crumple as he slams the car door in her face and marches back up the driveway into the house, his heart racing, asking himself that same question again.What the fuck have I done?

‘Did Vanessa leave already?’ Natalie begins to descend the staircase, Erin in her arms, and adrenaline spurts through Pete’s veins as he realises he’s still holding the file. Suddenly afraid she’ll ask to see what’s inside, Pete lets Natalie reach the hallway before he heads for the stairs.

‘Yeah, she just had to drop off some … confidential stuff.’

‘Weird she came here instead of just waiting for you at the office.’ Pete tries to figure out if there is an undercurrent toNatalie’s tone – if she is suspicious in any way. ‘I can’t believe that’s the first time I’ve ever met her,’ Natalie goes on. ‘She’s not what I thought.’

‘Oh?’

‘Listen, Pete, while you’re here, I need to talk to you—’

Aware of the file, hot enough to singe the skin on his palm, Pete cuts her off. ‘I need to sort this stuff out. Sorry.’ Without waiting for Natalie to reply, Pete hurries upstairs to the spare room that sometimes doubles as an office. Sitting at the desk, he opens the file again, his eyes running over the photo of Vanessa in her underwear. It doesn’t attract him in the slightest any more – in fact, it makes him feel ill, sick with shame and guilt. He slams it closed again and pushes his hands through his hair.What the hell am I going to do with this?He can’t take it to work – he could lose the contract if anyone there finds it. If he throws it away, there’s a chance Natalie – or even Emily – could find it in the bin, and that really would be the end of everything. He pauses for a moment, tapping his fingers on the desk as he thinks.I could keep it.It could end up being the perfect insurance policy to hold over Vanessa. A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth as he realises he might just have solved his own problem. If he keeps the file and Vanessa carries on harassing him, all he needs to do is turn the tables on her. He could threaten to post them online, or email them out to her clients, effectively blackmailing her into keeping her mouth shut. He can say she’s been stalking him: she turned up at his house, threatened to tell his wife they had an affair. He wouldn’t be lying, not strictly speaking. Despite the idea of blackmail leaving a filthy taste in his mouth, Pete unlocks the bottom drawer of the desk and slides the file inside, before carefully locking it and heading back downstairs.

In the sitting room, Natalie sits slumped on the sofa as cartoons blare from the television. She doesn’t look up as he enters.

‘Nat? Why is Zadie home? I thought the holidays didn’t start until next week.’

Natalie drags her gaze from the screen, her mouth twisting as she looks up at him. ‘Maybe if you could spare five minutes to actually talk to me, you’d know.’

‘Nat, I was working. I told you that. What happened? You said you had to go to school for a meeting.’

‘I don’t want to talk about it now.’ She gets to her feet and pushes past him roughly, heading into the kitchen.

Later, Pete lies beside Natalie in bed, as she literally turns a cold shoulder towards him. She hasn’t spoken to him all evening, and he had to ask Zadie what happened at school. She gave him some story about the teacher being mean to her, and he’s still not any wiser as to why she’s been sent home. Exhausted but wide awake, he stares up at the ceiling, picturing Natalie’s face as it twisted with disgust when he asked her about Zadie, before it morphs into Vanessa’s face, crumpling as he told her hewas nothing like her fucking dad. Maybe that was a bit harsh of him. There is a pang of regret and he reaches for his phone. He knows how she feels about her dad and that was a step too far, mentioning him.

I’m sorry about today. I shouldn’t have said that. Believe me when I say I really didn’t want things to end up like this.

Feeling like less of a heel, he rolls away from Natalie’s back and closes his eyes.

Natalie

‘I’ll come with you.’ Eve is already reaching for her jacket as Natalie shakes her head.

‘It’s fine, Eve, honestly. It’s just a check-up.’ As if she has been primed, Erin lets out a wail, sharp and high-pitched, and Natalie has to resist the urge to shudder.

‘I think Erin has just made the decision for you.’ Eve laughs as she bends and scoops the baby out of her bouncy chair. ‘I’ll come with you, then while you’re in with the doctor Erin can stay in the waiting room with me. It’ll be easier all round – you can talk properly to the doctor without fretting about whether she’s going to cry or not.’

‘Sure. OK. Whatever.’ Natalie feels sluggish and slow, exhaustion making her thoughts cloudy and fragmented as she allows Eve to strap Erin into her pushchair and take the handles. She hadn’t slept well after Vanessa’s visit, and she can’t squash the burning irritation she feels at Pete. She knows he works for Vanessa – theoretically she is his boss – but it still stings that he can walk off site when Vanessa snaps her fingers. Something he apparently can’t do when it’s Natalie who needs him. As Eve wheels Erin out of the front door, Natalie follows, stumbling over something in the hallway as she does. Eve’s handbag. ‘Eve, your bag!’

‘Can you grab it for me?’ Eve calls back over her shoulder, her focus still on Erin. Natalie sighs and stoops to pick up the jumble of detritus that has spilled from the battered leather bag Eve has carried round for almost as long as Natalie has known her. A packet of tissues, a pen with no lid, a piece of rose quartz and – Natalie pauses, with a glance towards the driveway, where Eve is still leaning over Erin – Eve’s appointment book. Shetries to tuck it into the bag but it gets caught in the strap, slipping to the floor, and Natalie can’t help glancing at the pages. Her mouth goes dry as she runs her eyes over the scrawled biro notes, at the names and times scribbled out. Cancellations. Page after page of them. Natalie looks up, towards Eve, who makes a ‘hurry up’ gesture towards her, and shoves the book into the bag, her mind racing.Why is Eve cancelling so many appointments?The way she’s been talking, Eve has had more clients than ever, but herappointment book is telling a different story. Natalie turnsher back on Eve, her face hot as she pulls the front door closed behind her.Is Eve cancelling appointments to spend time with Erin and me?Something about that thought makes Natalie feel oddly stifled and guilty at the same time.

Natalie tries to push the image of the pages of cancelled appointments out of her head as she lets Eve push Erin onto the path through the woods, the full leaves of the trees knitting over their heads and blocking out the sun. She’s not sure if Eve has insisted on coming along to help with Erin, or if it’s really just so she can make sure Natalie does actually go to this check-up. Natalie hasn’t brought a jacket, and she shivers in the chilly gloom of the trees, glad when they step out into the sunshine, although she is sweating lightly as they reach the surgery.

‘Natalie Maxwell?’ There is only a short wait before Natalie’s name is called. She feels sick and anxious as she stands, running her hands over the fabric of her jeans while Eve gives her an encouraging smile.

‘Hello, Natalie.’ Dr Crawford looks up as Natalie takes a seat. ‘How are you?’

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