Page 34 of The Mistake

He looks up, an expression she can’t read crossing his face. ‘Natalie.’

At the sound of her name, all plans to avoid him evaporate as Natalie is buffeted by a tsunami of rage, so burning and fierce that for a moment her vision blurs. ‘Pete. Have you got something you want to tell me?’ She watches as a range of emotions flit over his features – annoyance, anger, and something that looks a little bit like fear.

‘I could ask you the same thing.’

Natalie steps down so she is face to face with him, although her face is more in line with his chest. ‘How could you, Pete?’

‘How—’

‘Not only did you sleep with that … thatwhore, but to inviteher to our party? To the party we’re throwing to celebrateour daughter’s success? What kind of monster are you?’ She watches as the colour runs from his cheeks, leaving him looking bleached out and pale. ‘Yes, Pete, I know all about your girlfriend. I know it’s been going on since Easter. I know you’ve told her I’m a shit wife and you’resounhappy. Perhaps you could have given me a bit of a heads-up on how you were feeling.’

Pete runs a hand through his hair and blows out a long breath. He looks oddly fragile, a cracked hourglass with the sand running out of it. ‘Nat, it wasn’t like that. I don’t know what she’s told you—’

‘Enough, Pete. She’s told me enough—’ Natalie breaks off as one of the guests – she thinks it’s Dave the foreman’s wife – heads towards the cloakroom, giving them a quick smile. ‘Hi. Yes, the loo is just there.’ Natalie smiles, afraid her face might crack as the woman knocks on the door, only to find it occupied, and then stands waiting outside. Natalie grabs Pete’s arm and drags him halfway up the stairs, out of sight. ‘Vanessa couldn’t wait to divulge all the juicy details, but let’s be honest, Pete, she didn’t really have to tell me much, did she? The proof was all there, right in front of my nose.’

Pete says nothing as Natalie hisses the words at him, aware that anyone in the hallway could potentially overhear their conversation.

‘The file, Pete.’ Natalie sighs, suddenly weary to her bones. What has she done to deserve this? Is she really that much of an awful person that she deserves to have her whole life ripped away from her? ‘It was all in the file. Remember that day? When your mistress came to our house to deliver disgusting photos of herself to you, right in front of me? Did it give you some sort of kick, to see me there making afucking cup of teawhile she handed you naked photos of herself?’ Natalie shudders, the images burnt on to her retinas.

‘Of course not—’

‘Did you have a good laugh at my expense when you were alone together? At poor, sad Natalie who has no idea what’s going on in front of her eyes?’

‘Natalie, please just listen—’

‘And then the speech! Oh God, Pete, that cringey, maudlin speech.’ Natalie lets out a laugh, looking up at the ceiling to disguise the fact that her eyes are smarting again. ‘All a bunch of lies. Everything you said, about how much you loved us, how proud you were – it was all just a load of rubbish. All the time you’ve been shagging that woman behind my back.’

Pete swallows and reaches out a hand as if to pull Natalie towards him, but she raises her hands and takes a step back. ‘Natalie, please, I swear it wasn’t the way you think it was. I do love you, and I am so—’

‘You love me?’ Natalie shakes her head, the words bitter on her tongue. She can barely look at him, at the face she’s loved for over twenty years. She’d seen him first, long before she’d knocked him flying with her books. He’d been at the bar with his arm around a girl with long, dark hair trailing halfway down her back, but Natalie knew what she was doing, that day when she crossed the quad and knocked him over. Natalie hadn’t thought about the dark-haired girl again after that day, and neither, it seemed, had Pete. (Had that girl been Vanessa? Had she come to visit Pete on campus?Natalie doesn’t know; she hadn’t even looked at the girl’s face.) Now it looks as though it’s come back to bite her.Once a cheater, always a cheater. ‘If you loved me,’ she says, her voice rancid with spite, a toxic anger lacing every word like belladonna, ‘you wouldn’t have been spending all those evenings having sex with yourex-girlfriend, while I was here alone, taking care of your children. Up half the night with your baby, exhausted and lonely, wondering why my husband would rather be at work than with me. If you loved me, you would have been here. You would never have lied to me.’

Pete stares at Natalie, his face thunderous.

‘Let’s talk about that, shall we?’ he says, as a chill runs down Natalie’s spine at his icy tone. ‘You’re not exactly innocent in all this.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘When did you find out you were pregnant with Erin?’ His eyes never leave her face, and she feels as if she’s just stepped into a lift, her stomach dropping away.

‘I told you when.’

Pete laughs, a sneering snicker of a laugh. ‘When, though, Natalie? How many weeks were you?’

He can’t know. She licks her lips, worrying at the tingly dry patch on the corner of her mouth that she just knows is going to turn into a cold sore. ‘I told you. Twelve weeks.’

‘Fuck’s sake, Nat. I might not have been honest with you about Vanessa, but you’re standing here lying to my face.’ Pete shakes his head and for a moment she thinks he’s going to walk away. ‘Eve told me. She told me you found out you were pregnant weeks before you said anything to me – you told her before you told me! You took her to a scan, for fuck’s sake.’

Natalie’s chest feels tight, and for a moment her breathing falters as she takes in the betrayal.Eve told him. Pete is still talking, but she can’t hear him over the roar of her pulse, the crashing of blood in her ears. ‘What?’

‘You left it so long to tell me because you had already made the decision,’ Pete says. ‘You knew if you left it long enough, it would be too late for us to have any other option.’

‘No,’ Natalie says, her head still spinning from the fact that Eve – Eve! – has betrayed her confidence to Pete. The two people she loves best in the world have shattered her trust in a matter of minutes. ‘That wasn’t the reason, Pete.’ She faces him, stares at him long and hard. ‘I didn’t tell you before because I didn’t know if you would have my back.’

‘That’s ridiculous. I’ve always had your back.’

‘Except for when you had Vanessa on hers,’ Natalie says tartly.‘I didn’t tell you because I knew you would want to get rid of the baby, and I knew that wasn’t what I wanted. I might not have told you straight away, but that’s small fry compared to what you’ve done. You’ve destroyed our family, Pete. Everything you said out there was lies. I should just throw you out now, tell all our guests what you’ve done.’

‘Natalie, this wasn’t all me.’ Pete’s voice is low, and she has to strain to hear him. ‘You have to take some responsibility for what’s happened.’

---