Page 5 of The Mistake

‘It’ll all be OK. Go on, get up to bed. Get some rest.’ He swats her on the bum as she turns to leave, waiting until he hears the bedroom door close and the soft creak of the bed as she climbs in before he pulls the envelope from his pocket.Gutted.That’s howhe feels. As though Natalie has reached inside him and scooped out all the hopes and dreams he’s held close for years, leaving a gaping hole. It’s not just about the house, though – it’s his parents, too. They came over when Zadie was born, and he’s not seen them in person since. They FaceTime every week, and his mum is always sending him silly emails and text messages, but it’s not the same. Even though they live on separate continents, Pete is still close to his parents, and the thought of them being ten minutes down the road instead of eleven time zones away made him feel lighter somehow. He knows Natalie will never understand that, given her relationship – or lack of – with her own parents.

Sliding the paper with the plot details from the envelope, Pete makes a mental note to go into the travel agents’ tomorrow and see if he can get a refund on the tickets, before he tears the plot information slowly and deliberately into confetti-sized pieces. He stares out of the kitchen window, out into the thick darkness of the woods beyond the back gate.Tonight was meant to be acelebration, he thinks, watching the trees sway in the wind. He was meant to be having a glass of champagne with Natalie, celebrating their freedom, making plans for their future, for a new life in Australia, and instead … Instead, they’re going back to the beginning. Outside, an owl hoots, sending a shiver down Pete’s spine.I’m going to be a father again. And as much as he hates to admit it, the thought makes him nauseous.

Natalie

‘I can’t believe you! You’re beingsounreasonable.’ Emily’s face is a thunderous storm cloud as she glares at her mother.

Natalie is in the kitchen, scrubbing burnt-on baked beans from the bottom of a pan Emily used for lunch. This isn’t the first row she’s had with Emily since she and Pete sat the girls down to tell them she was pregnant, and she’s sure it won’t be the last. ‘Emily, please. I hardly think being forty-one weeks pregnant is unreasonable,’ she says mildly. She’s actually nearly two weeks overdue, and feeling every single second of it. She’d spent Christmas like a puffed-up balloon, instead of serenely nursing a newborn and watching Pete cook the turkey dinner.

‘You don’t understand how important it is – you didn’t come to the last one either. This is the open day forliterallythe only uni I want to get into. Jake said he’ll take me, seeing as you can’t, and I don’t see why you’re making such a big deal out of it.’ Emily slouches against the kitchen worktop.

Because he’s only had his licence for three months, Natalie wants to say, among other reasons, as she forces herself to take a deep breath. ‘There’s another open day there next month. I thought that’s the one you were going to, anyway, not this one.’ The baby should have been six weeks old by that point, but now Natalie’s starting to believe she’ll still be pregnant when the next open day rolls around.

‘For f— God’s sake, Mum,’ Emily huffs. ‘Jake is happy to take me, and he’s even found a B and B so we don’t have to drive to Durham and back in one day.’

‘Oh hell, no.’ Natalie throws the scouring pad into the sink and turns to face Emily, her belly twinging. ‘You actually think I’m going to let you stay out overnight with Jake?’

‘We’ve been going out for almost ayear.’

‘And you’re still only seventeen. Jake is twenty. I know exactly why a twenty-year-old man would want you to stay out overnight. Sorry, Emily, it’s not happening.’

‘Iknew it,’ Emily hisses. ‘I knew you hated him because he’s older. That’s why you never want him to come over. That’s why you keep saying no when I ask if I can go out.’

‘No, Emily, that’s not it at all,’ Natalie says through gritted teeth, as if she doesn’t know that even when Emily doesn’t go out, she sneaks Jake in through her bedroom window. Her belly tightens again and she presses her hand to her forehead, feeling weirdly hot. ‘I don’t want you out all hours because you’re supposed to be revising for your mocks. There’ll be no point in going to any open days at all, if you’re not studying for yourexams.’

Emily gives her a spiteful glare, full of teenage vitriol as Natalie turns to place the saucepan on the draining board. As she twists, there is an odd popping sensation in her belly, and then water trickles down her legs.

‘Oh.’ Natalie looks down, and then at the remaining pile of lunch dishes waiting to go in the dishwasher. Relief is the first emotion she feels, even knowing the pain ahead of her. Relief that this long nine months of heartburn, insomnia, sickness and exhaustion is finally over. ‘Oh.Oh.’ A familiar cramp grips her belly and she groans, pressing her hands to her huge stomach.

‘Mum?’ Emily drops her furious expression and steps towards her, her eyes wide. ‘Mum? Are you OK? Is it happening?’

Natalie closes her eyes and nods, trying to smile. ‘I think my waters have just broken. Can you pass me my phone?’ Pete has been called out to site, to sort out some problem with the drainage even though it’s two days after Christmas and the site is meant to be shut. She dials Pete’s number, listening as it rings four times and then cuts to voicemail.

‘For fuck’s sake.’ Another cramp comes in a wave and Natalie winces, her breath coming out long and slow.

‘Mummy? Mum?’ Zadie appears beside Emily in the kitchen doorway, and Natalie feels a bead of sweat form at her temple as she smiles through gritted teeth.

‘It’s OK, darling. Mummy’s fine. The baby’s going to be born, that’s all.’ She pulls in a breath. ‘Emily, try your dad again, wouldyou?’

Emily dials Pete again, casting frantic glances in Natalie’s direction as her mother grips the kitchen worktop until her knuckles turn white. ‘Voicemail again. What shall I do?’

‘Leave. A. Message.’ Natalie huffs, before snatching the phone from Emily’s hand. ‘Pete? Get homenow. My waters just broke, I need to go to the hospital.’

Zadie’s eyes fill with tears and Natalie bends awkwardly, scooping her in for a hug. ‘Why don’t you go and—Ooof.’ Her belly tightens. ‘Go and watch some telly with Em? It’s meant to snow tonight, so maybe you two can go out in the garden later and Em might make you hot chocolate?’ Zadie nods, and Natalie gives Emily a grateful smile as she leads her sister into the sitting room, their argument forgotten for now.

Twenty minutes later, Natalie is pacing the hallway, her overnight bag at her feet, as the contractions come five minutes apart. She can’t help the groans that emerge every time the pain takes a stranglehold on her stomach, and every groan makes Zadie cry just a little bit louder, the sound whittling under Natalie’s skin and scraping her nerve endings. Finally, Pete flies through the front door, bringing icy December air with him.

‘Where the hell have you been?’ Natalie growls at him as he fumbles with her bag, dropping the car keys as he tries to take her arm.

‘I got cut off as I tried to answer your call,’ he pants. ‘The signal over there is terrible, but I jumped in the car as soon as I got your voicemail. Shush, Zadie darling, it’s OK.’ Pete reaches out andpats Zadie on the head, before guiding Natalie to the car. ‘And then the traffic was horrendous – every man, woman and child is out at the sales … I know we have to go through town to get to the hospital, but I just thoughtto hell with it, we’ll use the bus lanes, we’ve got a good excuse—’

‘Pete?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Shut the fuck up.’

Natalie lies back against the hospital pillow, sweaty and exhausted. She’s lost track of how long she’s been here – whether it’s day or night, even. Pete sits in the plastic chair beside the bed, his phone in his hands. He kept stroking her hair off her forehead and squeezing her hand, until she told him to stop. She knows he wants to help, but every time he did it she wanted to punch him in the face. It wasn’t like this last time, she’s sure of it. Both the girls were quick, natural births – with Zadie she hadn’t even had any gas and air – and she had joked with Pete that finally she had found a sport she was good at. Worry flits across her mind.Are the girls OK? How long have they been on their own for?She had called Eve and asked her to come and sit with the girls once they made it to the hospital. Now she wonders if she should check with Pete, make sure Eve is still there, but before she can speak another contraction squeezes her belly. She’s too exhausted to do anything more than whimper.

---