Page 107 of Delta Force Defender

Back when she’d imagined she could kiss a man like Isaac and then let him go.

“Caradine,” he said, very deliberately. “There isn’t a single part of you that is anything like your father.”

But she couldn’t stop, or she’d never keep going. “Then we went to Boston. And I saw what it really looks like to be made in my father’s image. Head to toe, no matter what face he bought to hide behind.” She shook her head, tasting salt on her lips. “And that wasn’t something thathappenedto Jimmy. He was like that from the start. As long as I can remember, he was openly, happily psychotic.”

“You’re nothing like him, either. You couldn’t be if you tried.”

And she loved how fierce he sounded then. Like he would go back in time and punch Jimmy in the face all over again if he could.

“I wanted to kill him, but you wouldn’t let me,” she said. “And at first I didn’t understand that. Why wouldn’t you let me do what had to be done? But then I got it. You knew what that would make me. The exact thing I didn’t want to become.”

“There are things you can’t take back,” he said gruffly.

This time, she reached over and took his hand in hers.And she could tell that he wanted to pull it back, but he didn’t. It was another victory.

So she held his hand between her palms, feeling all of his strength. And heat. And the sheerIsaacnessthat fueled the fire in her, the electricity, and that beautiful spark that lit up even the darkest night. Here and always.

“Isaac,” she whispered. “Baby. You can’t take things back, but some things don’t need taking back. That you’ve had to make hard choices doesn’t mean you’re responsible for the losses you suffered. You’re no more of a monster than I am.”

She felt the jolt go through him, a full-body affair. His hand tightened in hers, but he didn’t jerk away.

“I know exactly what I’m responsible for,” he said in that low, uneven voice.

“You know what you blame yourself for,” she corrected him. “That’s not the same thing.”

Caradine reached over and took his other hand, and she wanted to laugh at that startled look on his face, as if he couldn’t believe this was happening. She laced her fingers with his, and she tipped her head back to look at him.

“I’m not going to argue with you,” she said. “We could argue forever. We already have.”

“Caradine.”

And she realized, belatedly, that her name was a full sentence as far as he was concerned. She could hear the exasperation. The resignation. The affection and the longing. All of their history, all of that need and denial, wrapped up in three syllables.

She was definitely going to be Caradine forever.

“You need to listen to me,” he said, and he sounded like himself again. The commander of the universe. “For a change.”

“You’re in charge of everything,” she reminded him. “But not me. We’re not on one of your missions.”

“Let’s talk about that. The part where youtook offyour wireand walked into a situation when youknewyou could—”

She put her hand over his mouth.

His eyes darkened with astonishment. And the promise of retribution.

“I told you I was done fighting, so let’s cut to the chase before you have another temper tantrum and disappear into the jungle for another two months.” She ignored his sound of protest. “You are head over heels in love with me, Isaac.”

His mouth was firm and hard beneath her hand, but he went still. Very. Very still.

“And that was easier to take when you thought it was a lost cause, because surrendering yourself to something you can never have requires nothing of you. You know it.” She dropped her hand, but she kept her gaze glued to his. “I ran away from you, yes, and you thought I was dead. For maybe ten minutes.”

“Twenty, Caradine.Twenty.”

“But you ran away from me, too, and I knew perfectly well that you were alive. I don’t think you can convince me that what you went through was worse.”

She could see everything in him tighten. That gunmetal gaze, so dark tonight. All the strong, tough muscles in his body, which was always a weapon, but could also hold her so tenderly she’d actually slept like that. In his arms. So tenderly it had hurt to wake up and remember that she couldn’t have him.

Caradine pushed on. “Deep down, you think you could have done something to keep your parents alive. Sometimes I think I could have done something to keep my whole family alive. You think you’re a monster. I know, given the chance, I could be, too.” That muscle was flexing in his cheek. His mouth was a hard line. So she smiled, big and bright, and watched his pupils dilate. “Don’t you see? You’re not going to scare me, Isaac.Because I love you, too. I think it started right here on this rock that very first night. Or why else would I have been so scared to let you in?”

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