Page 60 of Special Ops Seduction

Not when it came to her behavior, and certainly not when it came to her poor heart.

“Are you nervous about your speech?” Jonas askedsometime later, when the initial celebratory cocktail hour had ended and they were all being politely directed toward their seats.

“Public speaking doesn’t make me nervous.” Bethan grinned at him. “It’s not getting punched in the face, is it? Or having a sniper lay down fire from some unreachable post.”

“Amen,” Jonas replied, the smile on his face not making his tone any less taciturn.

It was thetouchingshe resented. He was playing a part, as she had to continually remind herself, but there she was, reacting like a real girlfriend every time he leaned too close. Every time he put his hand on her leg, or around the back of her chair, or played with her fingers on the table.

There were too many weak and desperate places in her heart, she understood. Filled withmaybes. Andalmosts. Andwhat abouts...

But soon enough this wedding weekend would end, and everything would go back to the way it usually was. Jonas would disappear in plain sight. He would speak only in the context of missions or to Isaac and Templeton. He would keep his distance from her everywhere except in the field, and even then only when under literal enemy fire.

And Bethan would have to find a way to accept that. Again.

But first she had to stand up beneath this tent and give a little speech. She and Matthew’s best man exchanged glances down the length of the wedding party’s table, pantomimed what she assumed was a schedule, and then she rose as all around her, glasses were clinked together. The smiling wedding planner handed her a microphone. A sea of faces shimmered there before her.

“For anyone who doesn’t know me,” she said into the mic, smiling broadly—and this time, not because she was playing a role, “I’m Bethan. Ellen’s older sister. The maid of honor, but you already know that because all my sister’sladies are dressed in that glorious magenta but I, and I alone, get to wear this violet.”

She swished her dress in emphasis. Ellen was smirking at her from the center of the high table, but the rest of the crowd was laughing. Bethan let her gaze move over the nearest tables, and then stopped, because she found Dominic Carter.

Who was not laughing. He was staring straight at her with an intensity that made her entire body take notice. A prickle ran down her back, but she fought to keep herself from reacting visibly. She made herself keep looking around as if she hadn’t noticed him.

But there was something off all right. There was something wrong.

Because Dominic Carter was looking at her as if she were a significant personal threat. When all she should have been to him, at best, was a member of a team he’d somehow played—assuming he was behind the Sowandes’ abduction from Montreal.

The way her gut twisted, she had to believe it was more than that.

But she was in the middle of her freaking speech. She glanced down at Jonas, who looked like he was smiling up at her supportively, but she could see the intensity in his black gaze. He saw Carter, too. That was something, even if they couldn’t do anything about it.

“I’ve had the pleasure of knowing Ellen for my entire life,” she told the wedding guests. “But somehow, it feels as if Matthew has known her longer, and loved her so well, all that time. Which is hard to imagine, since I know they met in college, while El was in her sorority sister phase.”

Her bridesmaids broke out into one of their sorority songs while the crowd applauded. Ellen and Matthew exchanged a look, smiling brightly at each other.

And this was Bethan’s life in a nutshell, wasn’t it? Some potentially dangerous individual in front of her, herfamily—and the man she shouldn’t care so much about—all around her, and her forever balancing between the two things. Something she’d never done well, she could admit. She’d usually chosen one or the other. She lost herself in the army, and that had felt too immersive to come back to her family much. But wasn’t that what her father did? Maybe she didn’t love all of his methods or all of his choices, but somehow, he’d always managed to have a military career and a home life.

She didn’t pretend not to know that it was the man beside her who was making her question the way she’d compartmentalized her entire adult life. Because he made her want too many things at once. Sex, sure. But also that intimacy that she knew was the last thing in the world he wanted. Everything she saw in her sister’s smile. All the things she’d thought she didn’t want, and still didn’t—unless it was with Jonas.

And somehow, Dominic Carter giving her the hairy eyeball at her sister’s wedding reception while the bridesmaids kept singing their sorority song seemed... perfectly normal.

“Then there was her law school phase,” Bethan said when the singing wound down. “Which I personally thought was overkill, given that Ellen managed to win every debate that ever happened around the family dinner table.” There were more laughs. “Of course, looking back, one of the things that’s most impressive about my baby sister is that she always knows what she wants, how to lay out a path to get there, and crucially, always keeps her eyes on that prize, come what may.”

Ellen and Matthew laughed at that. All of Ellen’s friends were applauding wildly. Even their parents were looking at each other a little ruefully, possibly because there were other words to describe the kind of focus Ellen possessed, and most of them seemed to come back around tobullheaded, one way or another.

It occurred to Bethan that might be a family trait.

“I was going to stand up here and take you through a tour of embarrassing Ellen moments,” Bethan told the crowd. “That is, after all, my solemn duty as maid of honor.”

She looked at her sister, who was shaking her head as if to warn Bethan off—but smiling big and bright, clearly not at all afraid of what Bethan would say next.

Bethan glanced at Dominic Carter to find that yes, his gaze was still on her like a nasty touch.

“But then I remembered that I’m not married yet.” Bethan grinned. “And if there’s one thing everyone here knows about my sister, it’s that she’s a very firm believer in consequences. And swift, merciless judgment rendered on any and all betrayals.”

“Old Testament, baby,” Ellen said from her place at the table, and everyone laughed.

Beside her, Bethan felt Jonas shift, though she was sure no one else could see him move. It was more a coiling of all of his power and strength, the finest weapon she’d ever seen.

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