Page 36 of The Cowboy's Secret Babies

At night, always, different temptations raised their heads and made her wonder if she was just kidding herself—

But no. It was exactly this that she’d convinced herself she didn’t want, because she’d known she couldn’t have it.

Ryder here, back home in Cowboy Point. Ryder engaged with Eli and Levi, being a father, loving them. Loving them so much that sometimes she forgot that she and heweren’ttogether as they sat reading them stories at night, or eating dinners together.

She had pretended, ferociously, that she was perfectly fine without all this.

But that was a lie.

And it was a lie that she’d continued to cling to, before that kiss.

Though now she’d gone and ruined everything. Because what she prided herself on most of all was beingpractical.

It didn’t matter that there was kissing, or adventures with clothes on out there on the living room couch, because it was just a bit of silliness at the end of an evening. It didn’t mean anything. That was what she’d been telling herself.

As long as she kept it all practical, with their focus firmly on the boys, then what did it matter?

It’s fine as long as you don’t have sex with him, she had lectured herself every night when he’d left, standing there with her back pressed against the door until she heard his truck pull away.All this is and ever can be is a little bit of fun. And you deserve it.

The very last thing she needed to do was the things she’d just done, and so heedlessly. So recklessly. Sodeliberately.

Not because it wasn’t good, because if it could be any better it would likely kill her. But because it turned out that she couldn’t handle herself when it came to this man.

She had fallen in love with him that night in Austin. She had hated him for a lot of years in between.

And now…

Well, she told herself primly.It was just one mistake. It doesn’t even count.

But when she lifted her head, Ryder was gazing down at her with that familiar, too-hot glint in his dark gaze.

Rosie knew she should stop this, immediately.

Surely shemeantto.

But instead, when he shifted her around on his lap, she offered no word of protest when he rolled protection over himself once more. Not only did she not protest, she was the one who shifted herself up on her knees and reached down between them, so she could fit him right where she wanted him.

Just like she was the one who sank down on him, immediately, and then groaned the same way he did.

With relief and delight, as if it had been years instead of less than an hour.

She knew better, she really did.

But Rosie was the one who began to move, and she was the one who set the pace, and when he told her to slow down she laughed and went faster.

Until he clamped his hands around her hips, and made her wait.

And when they finally found that white-hot finish once again, she told herself that it wasfine, because it was only one night.

Just one night, out in his truck, where it didn’t even count.

And that was what she continued to tell herself, just about every night thereafter. Every chance they got.

As it turned out, they got a lot of chances. Or maybe they made their own chances, it was hard to tell.

Rosie assured herself that she could stop any time. She was positive that she could. She told herself so, over and over again, every time they set themselves on fire.

As if one of these nights, it would finally be true.

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