“I’m sure I see myself exactly how everyone else does. I fuck things up.”
“You make everything better,” Allegra refutes. “You’ve made Mckenna’s life better. You helped her, saw the truth, protected her, when no one else did, Maverick.”
“Yeah? And she broke up with me because of it.”
“She was scared. She was…running.”
I arch an eyebrow.
“Don’t tell me you’re going to run,” Allegra whispers, horror shading her eyes.
I swear softly. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, A. I just, let me get through detox first.” But as soon as I say the words, I know I’m not being truthful. Because I am going to run.
It’s what I do best. It’s the outcome that Big Jim always predicted for me.
I’m not cut out for marriage and happily-ever-afters.
I’m a goddamn rockstar with a chip on my shoulder and a trail of fuckups in my wake. I was delusional in thinking I could marry a woman as good and pure as Mckenna Byrne and keep her forever.
That was my biggest mistake. Believing that I could be different. That I could be enough.
“I’m rooting for you, Mav,” Allegra says truthfully, finishing her coffee.
“I appreciate your coming. It means a lot, A.”
We both stand and I pull one of my truest friends into a big hug.
“See you in two days?” Allegra whispers.
“See you soon.”
Allegra lifts her hand in farewell, and I watch as she leaves the visitation room.
When I turn away from the table, Marilyn beams at me. “That looked like it went really well, Maverick. Proud of you.”
I heave out a breath. “Thanks, Marilyn.”
But I guess it did go well. It was a step in the right direction.
Now I just have to get through the next two days, make things square with Mckenna, and figure out my next move.
Sweat pours down the center of my back as I rack the bar and sit up.
“Nice set,” my brother says.
“Thanks,” I mutter, taking a swig of water. It’s been a long time since I hit the gym. Even longer since I worked out with my bandmates.
“How’re you feeling?” Jameson asks.
I sit on the bench and crack my neck. “My head’s clearer.”
“That’s good.”
“You talk to Kenny yet?” Reign asks.
“We’re talking tomorrow,” I confirm.
“You should go home and be with her,” Levi advises. “She’s living in the brownstone for you.”