Page 50 of The Bleak Beginning

“Don’t show me. Now focus on your card. Really concentrate on it.”

Sutton’s forehead creases, as she stares intently at her chosen card. I take a moment to scan the room. The dining hall is almost completely empty this late at night. There’s only one student tucked in the corner with their head buried in a book and another quietly eating a sandwich.

I watch nervously as Alfie makes a grand show of waving his hands over the deck, muttering nonsensical incantations under his breath. Sutton’s eyes are wide with anticipation, completely drawn into his theatrics.

“Now,” Alfie says with a dramatic pause, “I will reveal your card!” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out…a rubber chicken.

Sutton blinks in confusion. “Um, that’s not my card.”

“Of course not!” Alfie exclaims. “Because your card…is in the chicken!”

Before I can stop him, he grabs the chicken by the neck and gives it a vigorous shake. To my horror and Sutton’s amazement, a playing card shoots out of its beak, fluttering through the air before landing faceup on the table.

“Is this your card?” Alfie asks.

Sutton’s jaw drops as she looks at the card. “It…it is! The nine of hearts!” She turns to me, her eyes wide with disbelief. “How did he do that?”

I force a small grin, trying to hide my mounting irritation. “Oh, you know Alfie. Always full of surprises.”

“That was amazing!” Sutton exclaims, clapping her hands together. “Do another one!”

Alfie beams, clearly thrilled by her enthusiasm. “Well, if the lady insists—”

“Actually,” I interject quickly, “we should probably start heading to thatthingwe were going to? We don’t want to be late.”

But Sutton is already shaking her head. “We have plenty of time. Come on, just one more trick?”

“You guys were going out?” Alfie questions curiously. “How ironic. I planned on grabbing a banana for a new idea I have before heading out myself.”

I shivered and it had nothing to do with the rain outside. I had zero intention of ever finding out what he wanted to do with a banana.

“A banana trick? That sounds fascinating,” Sutton says, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

I cast Alfie a warning glance, silently pleading with him not to encourage her. But he’s already rummaging through the fruit bowl on the counter, his face alight with glee as he comes back over, taking a seat.

“Ah, here we are,” he says triumphantly, brandishing a perfectly ripe apple. “They were out of bananas, but they had a few of these left. Now, my dear Sutton, if you would be so kind as to select another card from the deck?”

She eagerly complies, plucking a card from the fanned-out deck Alfie offers her as I silently thank the cafeteria gods for being out of bananas.

I watch in mounting concern as he instructs her to memorize the card and then return it to the deck.

“Now,” Alfie announces with a flourish, “I shall make your chosen card appear inside this apple.”

Sutton gasps in delight, clapping her hands together. “How marvelous!” she exclaims, completely enthralled by his theatrics.

I keep my mouth zipped shut, knowing full well that this will probably end badly, and he just got lucky with the chicken earlier.

“Now, watch closely,” he says, his tone dropping to a dramatic whisper. He holds the apple aloft, turning it slowly in his hands. With a swift motion, he produces a small pocketknife—where does he keep all these things?—and begins to carefully carve into the apple’s flesh.

Alfie’s knife moves with surprising precision, and I can see something beginning to take shape within the apple.

Sutton leans forward, her eyes excited with anticipation. I can’t help but lean in too, despite my skepticism.

Suddenly, Alfie’s knife slips. A thin line of red blood appears on his thumb, and he lets out a sharp hiss of pain.

“Oh no,” he says, his face turning a stark shade of white.

I spring into action, grabbing a napkin from the table and pressing it against Alfie’s cut, just as his eyes start to roll back into his skull.

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