Page 31 of Don't Lie To Me

“I’m worried about you, trouble.”

My eyes meet his. “I’m fine.” I sigh, feeling anything but. The lack of control is causing a mental fog that makes it hard to focus and think clearly. I’m not sure how I’ll survive till five p.m.

“You’re not. What did Ricky say when he checked you out?”

“It’s just low blood pressure. I’m fine, really. I would be better if I didn’t have to deal with assholes like Romeo Moretti trying to take over my life, but there is no need for you to worry.”

The elevator doors ping open, and we walk out into the foyer of the fancy building where Alex’s office resides. I falter, just for a second,catching myself as my head spins. Onyx doesn’t skip a beat. Gripping my elbow, he directs me to a quiet corner of the lobby.

He stares down at me, worry lines forming on his forehead. “You’re not okay. When is the last time you ate anything?”

I try to think through the fog. “Last night at the restaurant. I was about to have breakfast when Sally called me this morning, and I haven’t had time to even think about food since.”

He shakes his head. “But you took your pills and chased them with some whiskey,” I hear the disappointment in his voice.

I inhale deeply. “Okay, so I need some food.” I roll my eyes. I spot a café just outside the building. “We can grab something there before we head back to the club. Happy?”

His hand trails down my arm. “I will be when I see you eat.”

“Come on then.” I push out from under him and stride across the empty foyer, heading for the little café. Once inside, I line up in the queue, searching the chalkboard above the counter for something I feel like eating. Quinoa and halloumi salad should hit the spot. “What are you having?” I ask Onyx, knowing he wouldn’t have eaten since breakfast, he’s been too busy with me.

“The beef burger. What about you, some rabbit food salad that won’t fill you up?”

I roll my eyes in his direction and offer a half smirk. He knows me all too well. “I’ll have you know my choice is high in protein, iron, and fiber. A balanced diet is important.”

“You need something more substantial, some meat.” The way he says it makes me think he’s not talking about the burger, but him. Or that could just be my mind. Since he admitted to me this morning he is into me as well, I can’t look at him without my mind going to the gutter. I think the stress of the situation I’m in is making it even worse. I want him to whisk me away.

We place our order and find a table that looks out over the street while we wait for our food to arrive.

“Sloane, what I said this morning, I was way out of line.”

My heart sinks. I thought I was finally getting somewhere with him.

“You pushed me, and I said something I shouldn’t have. I apologize.”

I blink back at him. “I don’t want you to apologize. Don’t you get it yet? I taunt you because…” I suddenly feel shy and unsure how I’m supposed to say this. I stare out the window, watching the traffic drive by, because I can’t look at him. “Because I want you.”

“We both know that is a really big problem. Nothing can ever happen between us. Do you understand?”

I stare back at him, disappointed and hurt. “Why?” I know the reasons, but they’re all bullshit.

“You know the reasons.”

“I want you to tell me why two consenting adults can’t act on their feelings.”

His head drops. “I’m nearly twice your age.”

“Thirteen years isn’t even close,” I snap back.

“I work for your family; my main job is to keep you safe. Your life is more important to me than anything. If we got involved, it would compromise everything,” I hear the heaviness in his voice, the emotion.

“What about what I want?”

“Keeping you safe is more important than what you want,” he answers with a determination that kills me.

My eyes narrow in on him. How can he be serious? He’s going to ignore his feelings for me all because he thinks he won’t be able to protect me if we’re involved. Today just keeps getting better. I nod. “Okay then,” is all I can come back with. He’s made up his mind. That’s how it’s going to be then. I’ll just shove my feelings back inside and pretend they don’t exist, like I have for fucking forever.

Our food arrives and the two of us eat in silence. Normally we can be together in silence for hours and it’s comfortable, feels like home even, but right now the tension is so thick you could carve it. His rejection cut me deep.

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