We both set to work painting our pumpkins. I go for a simple concept that will match his house, painting the entirety of the sphere a soft cream color, accenting it with a wide gray buffalo-check and the letter K—for Kincaid—on the front in teal. Yeah, yeah, I snuck my favorite color in…sue me.
Duke, on the other hand, goes all out, painting the pumpkin white and covering it in an assortment of candy-colored hearts with the wordsNo regrets, alwaysin gold. My eyes mist with tears when he presents it to me and I fling myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as I kiss him senseless. “I love you,” I whisper the words against his lips, meaning them with every fiber of my being.
He tenses under my touch momentarily before reclaiming my lips with his. He pours his unspoken reply into his kiss, drowning me in a tidal wave of emotion. Sure, he didn’t speak the words back to me, but I can feel it—he loves me, too, and I’m okay to wait him out on this. After all, the best things in life are worth waiting for.
chapter thirty-four
Mallory
As the weather grows colder, my relationship with Duke grows stronger. Over the past few weeks, he still hasn’t told me he loves me back, but he shows me daily and that means way more. I meant it when I told him actions over words and Duke leaves no room for doubt with his.
“It finally feels like things are falling into place,” I tell Ash as we video chat.
She’s quiet as she polishes her little toe. “It’s fate. I told you this is where you belonged.”
I smother a laugh. “Yup, you called it.”
“But…” she hedges, knowing me too dang well.
“But? But nothing.”
“Lies!” She holds up her fingers making a cross. “Speak truth, evil-doer!”
“My God, you’re weird. Right, but weird.”
She smirks. “Let’s focus on therightpart. What am I right about?”
Heaving out a sigh worthy of a teenaged blockbuster, I throw myself back onto my bed. “I want to go visit Val.” She remains silent, knowing there’s more. “And I…I think maybe I should go see my parents.”
“Closure.” It’s a statement, not a question.
“Yeah, something like that. It’s just…I feel like they still have so much power over me and avoiding them is the coward’s way out. I want to be strong. I want to show them—and me—that they didn’t break me, that I’m whole and healthy and happy and there’s nothing they can do to take that from me. Is that dumb?”
Ashley tsks me. “Your feelings are never dumb. You do you, Mally. Show your mean-ass mama what a badass daughter she has—show her you thrived despite her constantly trying to cut you down. Show. Her.” She screws the brush back into the polish bottle. “Plus, I think going to see your sister will be good for you, too—cathartic.”
“Yeah. I’ve wanted to go for a while now, but…it feels weird. Like, I know she’s dead, but I still want to talk to her, to tell her about Duke and me.”
“Everyone heals and grieves differently; there is no right or wrong way. I happen to think it’s hella cool you want to go chat with her.”
“Really? You don’t think I sound crazy?”
Ashley levels me with a serious stare. “No more crazy than any other person coping with the loss of a loved one. Obviously, your situation is a little different than most, but I think it’s honorable. I believe souls linger after death, and you talking to her…I bet it will give her peace just as much as it does you.”
I’m not so sure about the whole souls lingering thing, but regardless, I know it will soothemysoul and that’s enough for me to make up my mind. “I’m gonna do it. Duke is working until late tonight, so now’s as good a time as any.”
Ashley nods decisively. “Good. And remember, call me if you need a little boost. You got this, Mally. Love you big!”
“Love you bigger.” I end our chat feeling ready to take on the world—well, maybe not the world, but at least Orchard Grove, Alabama.
What should only be a fifteen-minute drive takes almost double that. Nerves flutter in my belly and I ride my brakes pretty much the whole way. I’m sure if Duke were with me, he’d scold me for being an unsafe driver—I can hear him now,‘Speed limits exist for a reason, Cricket. Going under is just as dangerous as going over. Arrive alive!’.He’d punctuate with a cocky little wink, too, God love him.
Once I finally make it to the cemetery, I shoot him a text.
Me: Hey, handsome. I know you’re busy protecting and serving, but I wanted to let you know I decided to go visit Val’s grave. Stay safe…love you!
I toss my phone into the cupholder and exit the car. A singular ray of golden sunlight illuminates my sister’s gravestone—fitting since she always lit up any room. Lowering myself to the ground, I read the inscribed words:Valorie Lynn Parsons, beloved daughter gone too soon,followed by her date of birth and her date of death.
A chill sweeps over me, turning my skin to gooseflesh as I run my pointer-finger over her name. It feels so…strange…being here, knowing that the first person to ever treat me decent, the first person to ever love me is sitting six feet beneath me in a pine box.