Page 149 of Small Town Firsts

Then they vanish.

Appear.

Vanish.

Too impatient to wait for her reply, I fire off another text.

ME

How about tomorrow? Around ten.

NATALIE

I have to work. Sorry.

ME

Nat, come on. I’m your boss. I know the schedule. You gotta do better. Let’s meet at the little shop near the café.

NATALIE

Make it eleven and you’ll have yourself a deal.

I pumpmy fist in victory, considering this round won. With our plans in place, I weave my way through my unpacked moving boxes toward my bedroom, more than ready for bed.

CHAPTER 10

NATALIE

The thoughtof meeting Alden for coffee has termites swarming in my stomach. Or at least that is how it feels. My insides are a jumbly mess, and it feels like my nerves are eating away at me from the inside out.

Now that he’s back, I have to tell him. However, the million dollar question remains…how?

Oh, and when?

I’m torn between ripping off the Band-Aid and easing into it; I also know the longer I wait, the angrier he’ll be. And seeing as I’ve already kept him in the dark for four years…let’s just say I’m not expecting him to be super understanding.

My only true hope is for me to be able to persuade him to see things from my point of view—to get him to see that I was a teenaged girl with a serious case of hero worship, who was terrified and embarrassed.

Over the years, I thought about reaching out. Especially after Tatum was born looking just like her daddy. I was tempted again around her first birthday; I even wrote him a letter, but when I asked Nate if he knew his address, he looked at me funny before informing me Alden had just moved to Europe and he didn’t know his mailing address.

Shortly after that news of his engagement broke, I made the decision—as stupid and shortsighted as it may have been, especially now—to say nothing. What man wants to celebrate his upcoming nuptials with the love of his life by getting a card in the mail saying:Congrats, and, oh, you’re a dad!

No man, that’s who.

Now, though, I wish I would have tried harder. Partly because I’m terrified to tell him now, but mostly because he truly had the right to know. For so long, I thought I was protecting him, but really, I was only protecting my heart.

Gotta love hindsight.

I strollinto the coffee shop at ten till, thinking that if I get there first I’ll have some sort of advantage. Only, Alden’s already seated in a cozy wingback chair tucked away into the corner. He locks eyes with me and pats the seat cushion of the identical chair next to him.

With a shaking hand, I gesture to him that I’m going to order first. Lord knows, I’m going to need some caffeine to get through this. I wonder if they serve Irish coffee.

At the counter, I order my usual hazelnut iced latte with a pump of vanilla before moving down toward the pick-up area to wait. The entire time I keep sneaking surreptitious glances at Alden. Age has certainly done him well. His once-lanky frame is now sculpted with lean muscle. His boyish, shaggy hair is now cropped close on the back and sides with just enough up top for me to run my fingers through. His jaw is cut from granite, and covered in stubble so sexy it causes my thighs to involuntarily clench.

In fact, I’m so caught up in cataloging all of his yummy physical changes that I completely miss my name being called for my order. Naturally, Aldendoesn’tmiss it, nor does he miss the way I’m gobbling him up with my eyes.

Sometime between imagining his scruff leaving my skin pink and my name being called out, he must’ve walked over to me. His oh-so-yummy and familiar scent invades my senses, and I jump when I feel his hand land on the small of my back. I break out into full-body shivers when he leans down and whispers in my ear. “You wanna stare at me, I’m not gonna stop you. But the ice in your latte is melting.”