Page 155 of Small Town Firsts

I have not a single clue what that means, but all the same, I find myself saying, “I thought you’d never ask!”

Conversation continues around us as she excitedly unzips her bag, but swear to God, if quizzed, I couldn’t tell you a word anyone else was saying. This sweet little girl has me completely under her spell. Ioohandahhappropriately when she pulls out a pink doll in a blue dress with a fluff of hair resembling cotton candy. “Dis is Poppy. She’s a pwincess.”

“Like you?” I ask, serious as can be.

Tatum breaks out into musical laughter. “I not a pwincess. I’m a Tatum.”

“That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard. You can be a Tatumanda princess. In fact, I’m pretty sureallTatums are princesses. Didn’t you know?”

Her eyes are as wide as saucers. “I do have sparkly dresses and a tiara and pretty lipsticks.” Her pitch rises with every word. “Iama pwincess!”

I tap my pointer finger to the tip of her nose. “Hell yeah, you are, and don’t ever let anyone tell you different.”

She sucks in a sharp breath. “You said a no-no word.” It takes everything I have not to laugh at how absolutely scandalized she sounds.

“I guess I did. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Alden. Mama says we all make mistakes sometimes. She says it’s part of being hooman.”

I grin. “It sounds like your mama is raising you right.”

NATALIE

Watching Alden with my—our—girl has me feeling like Humpty Dumpty after he had his great fall. I feel emotionally fragile, like I could shatter into pieces at any second.

As she blabbers on about nothing and everything, he never once looks bored or put out. No. It’s quite the opposite. He looks enthralled—like every word from her mouth is the single most important thing he’ll ever hear. And while I should be over the moon that they’ve already managed to bond, I’m gutted.

Absolutely gutted. Because now a whole new bout of issues is plaguing my mind.What if when he finds out, he decides he wants nothing to do with her? What if he tries to take her from me?The what-ifs are as endless as the ocean, and the more I think about them, the more it feels like I’m drowning.

Right when I think I can’t possibly take it any longer, my mom extends me a life raft in the form of a question. “Natalie, I know you asked if we could keep Tatum next Saturday for a few hours, but I was thinking maybe she could sleep over?”

“Sure. She’d love that.”

Mom claps her hands together in delight before scooting to the end of the couch so that we’re closer together. “Aren’t Tatum and Alden precious together? He’ll make a fine father one day.” She gives me a little wink.

I choke on air at her words, becauseJesus, that hit too close to home.All of this regret is like an anvil around my ankle, dragging me to the bottom of the river.That feeling of suffocating is back, and I’m so beyond desperate for someone to talk to, but there’s no one here except us.

“Nate!” I call out my brother’s name in a tone that’s just too loud for the small space. All talk ceases, and everyone turns to look at me.Kill me now.

He whips around to face me with mirth dancing in his eyes. “Yes, Natalie?”

“I-I thought you said this was a get-together. Where’s everyone else?”

Nate scoffs, pretending to be offended. “What, the company of your family isn’t enough?”

I clench my jaw, speaking through gritted teeth. “Not what I said.”

“But it’s what you meant,” he goads.What is it about big brothers getting so much pleasure out of antagonizing their little sisters?

“Not what I meant, either. I was just expecting more people.”

“I invited a few other people, but they all had some reason or another they couldn’t make it.” Nate shrugs. “Which is fine by me—more food for us!” His words are in perfect harmony with the oven timer in the kitchen.

“Food?” I ask. “Tatum and I ate before coming over.”

Giving me the stink-eye, my brother grumbles, “Why? My food not good enough?”

I can’t help but laugh. “Nate. You can burn water.”

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