Page 187 of Small Town Firsts

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I sniffle. “Everything.”

“Nat, you’re kind of freaking me out.”

“S-sorry. It’s just…” More sniffles. “It’s just too much, you know?”

“No babe. I don’t know, because I have no clue as to what you’re talking about.” We’re both quiet for a moment. “But…something tells me this is about Alden.”

At the sound of his name, a small sob breaks free, and I slide down the side of the house until my ass hits the wood of the porch. “We told Tatum tonight.” Since the entire café knows our drama, that’s all I have to say. Jenny remains quiet, as if she knows I have more to get off of my chest. “He’s such a g-good man, Jenny. He’s stepped into his role as Tatum’s d-dad like a duck to water. He’s so kind and compassionate and just…good. Even with my bullshit and lies, he’s k-kind to me. He sh-should hate me for keeping his daughter from him.”

I’m mortified by the words falling from my lips, but I can’t seem to stop. “I thought I was d-doing the right thing. I thought I was protecting him. But I was selfish and stupid. I took so much from them.” My words dry up as my tears fall harder.

“Babe, I’m gonna stop you right there. From what I’ve gathered here, you were still a kid. We all do stupid shit that seems smart when we’re young—learning from our mistakes is how we gain wisdom. And sure, he missed out the first couple of years, but they have their entire lives together ahead of them. You’re a good woman, and a good mother, and Alden forgives you because he can sense that. Just breathe, sweetie.”

Her words are just the balm I needed. They wrap around me and soothe my hurt. “I…thank you, Jenny. Sorry to dump on you like that.”

“No problem, babe. But know this—my ass just got promoted from your work wife to your real-life bestie. Deal with it.”

Her sassiness turns my cries into laughter. She’s the exact medicine I needed. “I can handle that.”

“Wasn’t asking. Talk later. Oh, and Nat…you’ve got this.” She ends the call, and I lean my head back against the side of the house, staring up at the twinkling stars in the night sky. Is Jenny right? Do Igotthis? I sure hope so.

CHAPTER 31

ALDEN

Swear on everythingI’ve ever cared about, my daughter hugging my neck and telling me she loves me is the most amazing feeling on this earth. It’s everything I never knew I wanted, yet everything I ever needed, all at once.

The feeling punching around in my chest is like nothing I have ever felt before—it’s sadness, joy, hope, elation, and reverence, all rolled into one. That this kid could truly accept and love me is the greatest gift I’ve ever been given.

When Tatum finally draws back from our embrace, she touches the tip of her little button nose to mine and places her palms flat on my cheeks. “You really my daddy?”

I nod, my throat too clogged with emotion to attempt to speak.

“And you wub me? Forever?” More nodding. “Den where you been all my life?”

Her questions cause an ache all the way down to my soul—dammit, Natalie. “I…” my voice is gravelly. “I was away…studying and working…on becoming the best man I could be so that I’d be worthy of being your daddy.”

She studies me for a minute, and I swear she’s—at all of three years old—about to call me on my shit. But instead, she snugglesin close to my chest again, nestling her head beneath mine. “Okay…Daddy.”

We stay just as we are for a few more quiet minutes before she pulls away again. “I’s still hungry. You got ice cream?”

I shake my head and smile. Damn, toddlers are resilient. “You know what, I think I do. Wait here, and I’ll go find your mama, and we’ll scoop up some ice cream.”

My girl nods and moves back to her chair, helping herself to another slice of pizza. For such a small thing, the kid really can put away some food.

I walk into the kitchen, fully expecting to see Natalie. What I’m met with though, is completely different. The door leading to the porch is ajar, and drifting in on the breeze is the sound of Nat breaking down. Her tears and sobs and sorrow are so visceral, it’s almost as if I’m the one experiencing them. I canfeeljust how much she regrets the decisions that led us here. I once accused her of being selfish, but the reality is, she is anything but. She was a scared kid who didn’t fully comprehend the ramifications of the decision she made.

I shouldn’t stand here and listen to her pour her heart out like this, but I’m a shit, because I do. I listen to every word until I hear her end the call. I let a few seconds pass, and then I step outside and join her.

“You okay, Nat?”

The smile she aims my way is watery. “Yeah. Totally fine.”

I don’t bother calling her on it. Instead, I extend a hand down and haul her to standing. “Our princess is requesting ice cream.”

“Oh, well, we better?—”

---