Page 239 of Small Town Firsts

Stella

Emmy... Hello?!

I readover her rapid-fire texts and slink down deeper into my despair. Because in addition to being a spineless coward, I’m also the worst friend ever. I bailed on my lunch plans with Stella in favor of hiding out in the relative safety of our suite.

Though, it’s hard to feel safe anywhere, knowing he’s here, all too eager to take up Rob’s vendetta as his own.

Stella

Mandatory check-in or I swear to God, I will report you missing to campus security!

Guilt over ghosting my friend weighs on me as I text her back.

Me

Sorry. I’m not feeling well.

Not a total lie.

Stella

Want some soup?

Me

Sure, thanks.

I don’t want soup. I don’t want anything, other than to wake up and find this whole day is nothing more than a nightmare.

Only, I know this is real. Of course it is. Why would anything ever go my way? Honestly, you’d think the universe would give me a break after everything, but no. Here it is, knocking me down yet again.

I’m still wallowing when Stella enters our suite. “Emmy?” she calls, her voice soft.

“You can come in,” I call back, unwilling to leave the cocoon I’ve created beneath my covers.

She steps into my bedroom, thankfully with no soup container in sight. “You look rough, babe.”

I give her a wry laugh. “Thanks.”

“Just calling it like I see it.” Stella shrugs unapologetically before plopping down beside me on my bed. “What’s going on?”

“I’m—”

“Don’t you dare say sick.” She shakes her head, her blonde locks whipping around her face. “I may not know you all that wellyet,but I do know a lie when I hear it. You’re not sick. You’re just not. So, what gives?”

How much do I tell her? Will she think differently of me? Will she think I’m a liar? A slut?

A million different outcomes race through my mind as Stella stares expectantly, waiting for my reply.

“It’s just. Um. Some bad things happened back home and coming here was supposed to be my fresh start.” I sniffle as the tears I’ve been holding back all day finally break free. “But someone from home is here and I... I can’t.”

My sniffles give way to chest-heaving sobs.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Stella reaches out as if to hug me, but drops her arms at the last minute, taking my hand in hers instead. “You’re okay.”

“I’m not. I’m not, I’m not.” I draw my knees to my chest, and repeat those same three words over and over, my head shaking side-to-side.

“Emmy, stop it!” Stella shouts. The unexpected sharpness of her tone instantly pauses my breakdown. “There, that’s better. Now, listen. Everyone has a past. Everyone has demons. Everyone, babe. Even the freaking pope. But that doesn’t mean you let them rule you.”

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