Page 272 of Small Town Firsts

She rolls her eyes. “I know. I just meant, maybe he’s always had feelings for you, but has been in denial.”

“He hardly noticed me growing up.”

“But—”

I cut her off. “I love you, Stella, but he’s not interested in me. He doesn’t have a crush. And I can almost guarantee he kissed me with ulterior motives.”

I think. Right? Yeah, I have to be right. Don’t I?

Indecision turns my stomach.

Thankfully, Stella doesn’t keep pushing. At least not about that. “You at least have to tell us, was he a good kisser at least?”

“The best,” I say, flopping back on the couch in disgust.

“Seriously, how is it already Thursday?”Stella asks as the coffee pot gurgles to life on the counter behind her.

“Ugh,” I groan. “Don’t even get me started.” I’m honestly half tempted to skip class today to avoid Sterling for a little bit longer. But, after the quiz disaster from Tuesday and my unfortunate project pairing, I’m already going to have to bust my ass in that class just to keep my head above water.

Like the heaven-sent angel she is, Stella passes me a mug of coffee. “You gonna be okay?“

“Define okay.” I take a long sip, letting the caffeine wind its way through me, warming me and waking me from the inside out.

“Let’s set the bar low. Okay, as in you won’t shove your pen through his eyeball?”

I can’t help but laugh. “Then yeah, I think I’ll be okay.”

“Atta girl!” Stella clicks her tongue at me. “Now, let’s go.”

We walk together, chatting aimlessly until we have to go our separate ways. Which, naturally, is when my nerves really set in.

Will he be the same asshole as usual or was our clandestine kiss some type of fucked-up olive branch?

Only one way to find out.

Steeling my spine, I march into the building with my head held high. There’re so many things in life we can’t control, the actions of others being one of them. Worrying over how he’s going to behave won’t change anything.

It’s out of your control. Just breathe.

I pause outside of the classroom, take a few deep breaths, and then head in.

Like always, Sterling’s behind the podium, looking disinterested. Not wanting to draw his attention, I grab the first open seat I see. Unfortunately, it just so happens to be in the front of the classroom, directly in his line of sight.

He glances my way right as my butt hits the seat. My cheeks heat, and he smirks.

So much for not drawing his attention.

I want so badly to move to a desk in the back of the room, but I’m here now, and it would only make me look weak to move now.

Also, I don’t want him to think I’m some scared little baby bird. We kissed. So what. No big deal. Or at least, that’s the lie I’m choosing to tell myself. Maybe if I say it enough times, I’ll believe it, too.

At nine on the dot, Sterling dives into his lecture. As much as it pains me to admit it, I could drown in the deep, smooth pitch of his voice.

The upside is, I’m so tuned in to his every word, that note-taking is a breeze.

CHAPTER 19

STERLING

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