Page 369 of Small Town Firsts

"A key to my place."

"What? Why?"

"Don't panic, baby. Consider it a safe space if you ever need to get away. The locks have been changed, and that key there is the only spare. I also have a new security system."

My heart pitter-patters, doing a happy little dance in my chest. "Thank you."

He simply smiles in response.

The microwave dings, and Sterling grabs the final sandwich. Stella and I quickly move everything to the floor so we can eat. A happy quiet settles over us, and for the first time in a long time, contentment flows through me.

"What do you have planned for today?" Sterling asks once we finish eating.

I shrug. "I guess I need to find a therapist. And figure out stuff for my classes. Oh, God, I can only imagine how behind I am."

"Hey, I'll help you get it sorted out, okay?"

I smile gratefully. "But before any of that, I need a shower. I was too tired yesterday, and I swear, I canfeelthe hospital on my skin."

"We'll clean up out here," Stella says, gathering our plates.

"Thanks." I grab my new hoodie before darting into my room for a pair of jeans and a bra.

I'm already anticipating the relief the hot water will bring to my sore muscles, but the second I'm inside, panic floods my system.

My skin feels too tight for my body, and the walls feel like they're closing in on me. My vision pinpricks, and I can't seem to take in a full breath.

Suddenly, flashes of me lying on the floor, fading away to nothing, assault me.

A broken sob spills out of me as I crumble to the floor. "Oh my God," I cry, holding my knees to my chest as I rock in the fetal position.

The bathroom door bursts open, and Sterling rushes in and pulls me up into his strong arms. "Oh, baby. I'm so sorry."

I'm crying too hard to respond.

He walks us out to the couch and sits, keeping me on his lap and his arms locked tightly around me. His touch is the only thing grounding me right now, the only thing keeping me from completely breaking down.

"I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this," I whisper over and over, clutching at his shirt.

He whispers soothing words into my ear, while Stella watches on helplessly.

Sterling continues to hold me, rocking and whispering, until finally, I regain some sense of composure.

"How am I supposed to stay here?" I wail.

"Don't," Sterling says, "don't stay here."

My heart sinks. He wants me to leave.

"Move in with me."

Just as fast, my heart soars, buoying itself to the surface. My brain, however, quickly shuts it all down. "I don't know if that's such a good idea. It seems really sudden, and I don't want to make any rash decisions." I'm trying to be logical, but it's hard when my entire being is practically begging me to say yes.

"I don't know...maybe a change of scenery would be good," Stella says. "I know I'm not a therapist, but I don't know how conducive to your healing it will be to stay here."

Sterling nods in agreement.

"I don't know. I just... don't know."

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