Page 118 of His to Save

White spots dance in front of my eyes as I try to shrink in on myself and protect my stomach from his wrath.

But there’s nowhere to go. There’s no reprieve or safety to be found. I can’t even escape into the shelter of my mind because all I can think of is protecting my son. I'm stuck. Stuck here in hell, with my own personal monster.

Let us go. Please just let us go.

A soft fluttering in my stomach breaks through the all-encompassing agony, and while I can’t be sure, I tell myself it’s my jellybean. That he’s okay—that we’re both going to be okay.

“Should’ve put a chip in you, like a damn dog. Wouldn’t’ve had to wait so long to get you back,” he mutters to himself. “ButI’ve got you now, and I plan to have some fun before I... dispose of you.” His thin lips curl into a grotesque mockery of a smile as he leans down further into my face.

He slides his hand over my protruding belly, up between the valley of my breasts, all the way to my throat, where he curls his fingers tight. His grip is like a vise, restricting my airflow until my vision goes hazy.

“Don't worry, though.” He suddenly releases me, and I greedily suck down as much air as my burning lungs will allow. “I'll raise this one right.”

“You won't touch my baby!” I rasp the words at him, my growing resolve steadily overriding my fear. “I'll die before I let you hurt him!”

“A boy!” He whistles, a look of twisted joy filling his usually dead eyes. “I'll raise him right, indeed.”

“Fuck you, you monster!” I buck against his hold, barely even noticing my use of the f-word.

“You're right, you know,” he says, his voice devoid of any feeling at all. “You will die. I thought maybe you were the one. That I’d get to keep you, but clearly you’re not worth the trouble. But first, you're going to apologize to me for running away.”

“You're actually insane,” I whisper brokenly, as I try to figure a way out of this.

But it’s hopeless. I’m bound and completely at his mercy.

“I’ve been thinking of how to punish you.” He leans forward and licks the side of my face, his rank breath warming my cheek. “Dreaming of it. And I think I know just the thing.”

“Get off of me!” I shout, lurching violently in his hold. The rough wooden floor pulls and tears at my skin, but I barely notice it. Especially when he grips my jaw again, his other hand going to his belt.

“Thought I beat that smart mouth out of you,” he mumbles under his breath. “Stubborn little bitch. Should’ve did you like your mom.”

My entire body stills as the implication of his words sinks in.

“Wh-what about my… my m-mama?” I hate how weak my voice is... how weak I am in his presence. I foolishly thought I was finally free of this monster and let my guard down. Now I’m back in his clutches, and I’m starting to worry I won’t make it out alive this time.

He pops the buckle of his belt and then the button on his jeans. “Doesn’t matter, though. I’ll still get to watch you die. To watch the life bleed out of your pretty little eyes. Even if it wasn’t the long game, I still win in the end.”

He’s completely lost it. Oh, God.

“Thought you were the one, but you’re nothing. Bitches like you are a dime a dozen.” He reaches down, palming himself through his jeans. The knowledge that he’s aroused right now is nauseating. “No matter, though. I’ll find someone else. Maybe that bitch you were with today.”

Scarlet. He means Scarlet. For the first time in my life, I have people in my corner—people who care. It doesn’t matter that I barely know her, I can’t let him hurt her.

“No!” I shout, my voice echoing all around us. “Please. Please just leave her alone.”

“You dare to tell me what to do?” He once again grips my jaw, his grip so bruising, I’m shocked my bones don’t turn to dust under the pressure.

“You’re nothing.” He forces my head back, my neck bending at an unnatural angle, so that the only thing I can see is him. “You’re no one. A worthless whore who won’t be mourned or missed by anyone.”

“That’s not true,” I grit out, my words barely decipherable thanks to his hand covering my mouth.

“Sure it is.” He makes a big show of looking around. “I bet no one’s even noticed you’re gone. And if they have, I bet they’re glad to be rid of a needy bitch like you.”

My scalp burns as I try to shake my head, his unrelenting grip on both my hair and jaw severely limiting my range of motion.

“You’re nothing but a burden. A drain.”

He’s preying on my insecurities. Logically, I know this. But there’s still this small, awful voice in the back of my head whispering to me that he’s right. That Atlas—and Ellis and even Scarlet—are all better off without me. That they’ll be relieved I’m gone.

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