Page 48 of His to Save

She shrugs, and I sigh. Of course, I’m fucking this all up.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you, Pip. It was wrong of me, especially with how upset you were.”

“Do…do you regret it?” she asks, running her index finger over the seam of her lips.

“Yes and no.” I interlace my fingers behind my head and try to gather my thoughts. “I regret it because the timing was shit. You deserve so much more than an ill-timed kiss in a dark closet while you’re terrified.”

“And no because?” She’s sitting with her back against the headboard, knees pressed to her chest and her cheek resting on her knees as she waits for my reply.

The fact that I can still see tear tracks on her freckled cheeks makes me feel like an even bigger asshole than I already do.

“No, because you’re you, Pip.”

She lifts her head, sending a puzzled look my way. “I don’t understand.”

“I think that’s a conversation for another day.” Because how in the hell do I even begin to tell my stepsister, who’s spent the last several years being abused by my dad, that I have feelings for her?

God, what is wrong with me?

“Well, I don’t regret it.” She straightens her spine, sitting up proudly. “I’m glad it was you.”

“Glad what was me?” My heart climbs into my throat, because I’m pretty sure I know exactly what she’s going to say, and I’m not sure if it’s going to make me feel better or worse.

“You were my first kiss, and you’re right, it wasn’t ideal, but it was what I needed right then to bring me back. I trust you. I feel safe with you. So yeah, I don’t regret it.”

I scrub my hands over my face, trying to figure out how this day went so sideways.

“You deserve better, Nora. The best. I need you to promise me you’ll never settle for anything less than that, okay? No matter who it’s with. Promise me?”

Her eyes shine with unshed tears, and for a minute I think she might argue with me, but finally she nods. “Promise.”

“Okay, good.” I exhale a relieved breath, my guilt partially assuaged. “Now, can we talk about theotherwhat happened today?”

“I feel so stupid.” The self-loathing in her voice rivals my own.

I can’t believe I fucking kissed her. She should hate me. God knows, she’d be well within her right.

“Why? Talk to me.”

“I was watching TV, some true crime show one of you was watching earlier, and I got scared. So, when I heard the car in the driveway?—”

“It was Ellis, I asked him to check on you.”

She huffs out a humorless laugh. “I figured that out pretty quickly, but I was too wound up to do much about it.”

“You wanna know what I think?” I ask, rolling my chair closer to the bed.

“What?” Her cheek’s back on her knees again.

“I think you should give yourself a little more grace. You’ve lived through unspeakable things and moving on from them is not easy. Healing takes time, and everyone does it at theirown pace. You’re strong as hell, Pip—a fighter—and I’m fucking proud of you.”

A pretty blush colors her cheeks as she ducks her head. “Thanks.”

“And I know I’ve already said it, but I think it bears repeating—I’m sorry for taking advantage of you. I know you said you feel safe with me, and I hope that you still do. But…” I swallow roughly, lowering my focus to the floor. “I understand if you don’t.”

“I do, though.”

My eyes snap up to meet hers. “You do what?”

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