Page 49 of His to Save

“I do trust you, Atlas. With my life, and even though you’re upset about it, I’m not mad you kissed me either. You’re a good man. I know it like I know my own name.”

I bow my head, relief rushing through me. “Thank you, Nora.”

I’m not sure I deserve her forgiveness, but like the selfish asshole I am, I’m going to claim it all the same.

“You don’t need to thank me, weirdo.” She shimmies her way to the edge of the bed before pressing her toes to the floor. “But if Ellis is home, could you take me to talk to him, and then maybe show me how to actually use the TV?”

A smile curls my lip as I stand. “Sounds like a plan.”

DIARY ENTRY, PRESENT DAY

Dear Diary,

It’s been nearly a week since my kiss with Atlas. Which means it’s been nearly a week of me obsessing over it.

He says it was wrong of him to do it, and while I agree the timing was bad, I have a confession… I really liked it.

Honestly, I couldn’t have imagined a better first kiss.

Maybe it’s because I know he’d never hurt me or because I know he’d stop if I asked.

I want to talk to him about it, to maybe ask him to do it again, but he’s acting like it never happened, and I’m not sure I could handle it if he turned me down.

I already have a learning curve compared to most girls my age.

Which is why I feel silly still thinking about it. I mean, gah! It was only a few seconds, which in the grand scheme of things shouldn’t be a big deal. To a normal girl, it probably wouldn’t be.

But, again, learning curve, so to me that stupid two-second kiss was everything.

Enough about that, for now anyway, because today’s my first OB appointment, and while I’m trying not to be, I’m really nervous.

Everything I’ve read on the phone Atlas got me (that’s a whole other issue because I told him a flip phone would be fine, but he insisted on adding me to his plan and getting me a smartphone like his) says that you don’t really feel your baby move until somewhere between sixteen andtwenty-four weeks, but I’m not sure how far along I am, so it doesn’t really help me much.

I don’t know. I guess I just want this baby so badly that it physically pains me to think of all the possible outcomes.

Atlas swears he won’t leave my side the entire appointment, and I’m definitely holding him to that. I don’t know how or when it happened, but over the last week, he’s become my rock—my safe place—and I don’t know that I’d be able to face any of this without him.

I’ll update you after my appointment.

Apprehensive, Nora

CHAPTER 16

NORA

“Are you nervous?” Atlas asks as I slide my boots onto my feet.

“Only a lot.” Straightening, I tug up the waistband of my leggings. I’ve put on a little weight in the week I’ve been living with Atlas, but I’m still a lot smaller than all of the women I see online. “I’m excited, too, though. I’m pretty sure both emotions are battling it out inside of me.”

“Which is winning?”

I shrug, not wanting to admit that my anxiety is at an all-time high.

Although, knowing Atlas, he’s probably well aware that I’m stressed and wants us to try and talk it out. I can’t, though, because what if talking about it gives life to all of the worries plaguing me?

Which brings me back to being nervous as heck. How could I not be when thoughts likeWhat if I’m starving my baby, what if there’s something wrong with it because of all of the things Rand did to me, what if there’s no heartbeat?keep knocking around in my brain.

This baby, this sweet innocent life growing inside of me, is what gave me the courage and the strength to get out, but Idon’t think I really had the brain space to worry about all of the things most first-time moms do when I was still locked away. Now that I’m free, thewhat-ifshave been raining down on me relentlessly.

---