Page 53 of His to Save

“According to my measurements, baby is right around thirteen weeks, so the end of the first trimester. We’ll probably do a few additional scans to monitor baby’s growth so we can be sure on the timing and progression.” She rolls the wand over my belly again, pressing it firmly to the lower left side of my belly. “Now, for the fun part.”

“The fun part?” I ask, wondering what on earth could be better than hearing my baby’s heartbeat.

“See here.” She nods toward the screen. “That’s your baby’s head, and here are the toes.”

“How big is the baby?” Atlas asks, his voice filled with wonder.

“About the size of a peach.”

“And you can see all of that?” The wonder quickly morphs into disbelief.

But Scarlet just smiles. “The wonders of science.”

I know she’s being sarcastic, but in a way, she’s right. This is wonderful. Amazing, really, that my baby is the size of a piece of fruit but has fingers and toes and a heartbeat.

Talk about a perfect freaking day.

DIARY ENTRY, PRESENT DAY

Dear Diary,

I heard the most amazing sound in the world today… my baby’s heartbeat. It was strong and steady and absolutely perfect. Honestly, if I could bottle the sound and keep it close by, I would.

Come to think of it, I might ask Scarlet if I can record it at my next appointment—which is only three weeks away! She said we might even be able to find out the sex of the baby.

Scarlet asked if I want a boy or a girl, like I have any say in the matter. I just want a healthy baby. Someone I can love and hold and care for…someone who will love me.

It sounds weird, but my arms literally ache to hold my baby. Only twenty-seven more weeks to go. It sounds far away, but everything I’ve read online says it will fly by.

I’m also nervous for what my baby’s arrival means. I have no real education, no job, less than a hundred dollars to my name, and only a temporary living situation.

I need to make a plan, because my baby will not suffer or want for anything. I’ll do whatever’s necessary to provide for my child.

Talk to Atlas about finding a job

Get a job

Save money

Find somewhere permanent to live

Ugh! My to-do list is stacking up against me. Not to mention, the cost of actually having the baby and my prenatal appointments. I’m not stupid—I know Atlas paid for my appointment today. He didn’t tell me because he didn’t want me to feel bad, but I’m going to pay him back.

He says it’s not taking advantage when it’s something he’s giving freely, but still, I feel beholden to him, and I don’t like it.

Find a way to pay Atlas back for the phone, doctors’ appointments, and clothes

Oh, God. It kind of feels like I can’t breathe.

Somehow, I managed to free myself from one problem only to be pinned by another.

One step at a time… Dad used to say you can only take one step at a time. I just need to slow down and figure out my steps. I’ve survived worse than this, so I know I’ll be okay.

No—we’ll be okay.

Overwhelmed, Nora

CHAPTER 17

---