Page 54 of His to Save

ATLAS

Ican’t explain it, but I’ve been on cloud nine ever since hearing our little jellybean’s heartbeat.

Fuck, man.I don’t know when I started thinking of this baby asours, because clearly, it’s not my anything. Nora’s not either, and while I’m not going to push her, I damn sure want her to be.

I wantbothof them to be mine.

It’s wild; if someone would have asked me a few weeks ago if I ever wanted kids, I’d have laughed. But now I’m racking my brain, trying to think of where we can stick a nursery and how I can convince Nora to stay here with me.

Even if nothing more ever happens between us, I want to be in this kid’s life, and while I’ll gladly take on any role she’ll allow me, I want to be a good example for him, to right my dad’s wrongs.

Not that we know it’s a boy—hencejellybean,because calling the babyitdidn’t feel right.

I’m so far ahead of myself it’s not even funny. Forget putting the cart before the horse, I’m mashing the gas pedal to the floor, and there’s not even an engine under the hood.

“What are you thinking so hard about over there?” Ellis asks, tossing a handful of chips at me.

“The fuck, man?” I jump back, trying to gather all of the crumbs. “Now the couch is going to be crunchy.”

He rolls his eyes and digs another handful out of the bag. “Back to my question. You look like you’re constipated or something.”

“Just got a lot on my mind.”

“Care to share with the class?”

I glance down the hall toward my room, where Nora’s holed up, most likely writing in her diary. “About Nora and the baby and?—”

“Dude, you’re so sunk it’s not even funny.”

My first inclination is to deny it, but what’s the point? There’s something about the redhead down the hall that has me wearing my heart on my sleeve and acting like the sap I swore I’d never be.

“I know.” I scrub my hands over my face before reclining back against the couch cushions. “I just wish I knew what to do about it.”

“What”—Ellis blinks at me, clearly confused—“do you mean?”

“I’m not right for her.” I lean my head against the back of the couch. “I wish like hell I was, but I’m not.”

“I think you’re full of shit.” Ellis chuckles as he leans forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. “But I’ll bite. Why aren’t you right for her?”

“She needs someone…” My words dry up like the fucking Sahara relocated in my throat.

“Someone who’ll love her and her baby, care for her, protect her, put her first, make her happy,” Ellis lists with an eye roll.

“Yeah.” I nod. “All of that.”

“Hmm.” He leans back, drumming his fingertips against his knees. “Seems like you already do most of that.”

“None of that matters, though. Not when I’m directly related to the reason for all of her suffering. How could she ever want me, man? How could I ever hope to be more than a reminder of all she’s suffered through?”

“One.” Ellis holds up his index finger. “Self-pity doesn’t look good on you.” He adds a second finger. “Two, it’s not your place to make these kinds of choices for her. She’s had enough choices stripped away from her, Atlas.”

My entire body melts into the couch as frustration and shame battle it out inside of me. “You’re right. Fuck, man. You’re right.”

Ellis grins. “Usually am.”

“Right about what?” Nora asks, stepping into the room, making my whole body jolt.Sneaky little red-haired ninja.

But before either of us can answer her, the front door flies open, and Nora drops to the floor, curling into a fetal position.

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