Page 61 of His to Save

Not to mention, he was respectful of me every step of the way. But a small part of me felt like it was all too fast.

Thankfully, Maggie was able to give me the perspective I was lacking. She told me the only person who can decide what I’m ready for is me, and that there’s no right or wrong pace.

Which brings me to my new predicament…

I want more. More of Atlas, more of his pleasure, more of the power that comes with making his knees shake.

I’m just not sure how to go about asking him. I know he said I could put my hands and mouth on him any time, but I can’t very well just walk up and grab his junk, now can I?

But I think asking out loud might be even worse. I don’t know.

I remember one time Mama said if someone wasn’t mature enough to talk about it, then they weren’t mature enough to do it. So, I guess I better practice in the mirror or something, because my body is so keyed up with need I’m liable to jump him if I don’t.

Frustrated, Nora

CHAPTER 20

NORA

“You really think I qualify for all of these jobs?” I swivel on my barstool to look at Atlas, shocked at the list of possible jobs he and Ellis compiled for me.

“None of the ones on this list require a degree,” Ellis says, scrambling some eggs at the stove.

“And all of them offer in-house training,” Atlas adds. “So, they’re all perfect for you.”

“Huh, who knew?” Certainly not me. I figured I’d be out of luck trying to find work, but not according to this list. Now the question is: Which one do I apply for? Do I apply for more than one? I’m not entirely sure how all of this works…

“Do any of them sound like something you’d like?”

I flick my eyes up to look at Atlas, unsure on how to reply. None of the jobs sound interesting, but I can’t afford to be picky, either. “Which one do you think pays the best and has the best benefits?”

Both men level me with a befuddled stare. “Pip, you don’t need to worry?—”

“I do need to worry, Atlas.” Frustrated tears burn the back of my eyes. “Having a baby is expensive, and so is raising one. Outside of the medical costs, which I’m sure will beastronomical, I need a crib, bottles, clothes, diapers, wipes. And then, I need somewhere for all that to go—somewhere to live, to raise my baby, to call home. All of that takes money, lots and lots of money.”

By the time I’m finished, I’m full-on crying, and I hate it. I hate feeling this way, weak and small and so very unequipped for motherhood.

This baby saved me, and one way or another, I’m going to find a way to be the mother it deserves.

Ellis sets a plate in front of me, and I dig into the egg sandwich, grateful for the distraction.

“You know…” Ellis says around a mouthful of food, “you could always live here.” He swallows. “Like permanently.”

“What?” I choke on my bite, trying to make sense of his words and swallow at the same time. Atlas passes me his glass and I chug it down, shooting him a grateful smile.

It takes a minute, but once I’m able to speak, I try again. “I know you didn’t just suggest me living here, like forever. I-I can’t do that!”

“Why not?” Ellis asks, sliding his eyes from me to Atlas.

Atlas quirks a brow at his friend, who in turn nods.

“Yeah, Ellis is right.” He turns to fully face me. “You should stay here.”

“Is there a gas leak?” I sniff the air, despite it being odorless, because what else can explain Atlas and Ellis both suggesting I stay and raise my baby here. “Y’all can’t be serious.”

They trade looks again.

“We are,” Ellis starts.

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