Page 94 of His to Save

I fucking love it—I love seeing her like this.

“You okay, Pip?” I ask, stroking my fingers up and down her spine, causing her to shiver.

“Mmhmm.” She nods as she moves herself to an upright position, causing my half-hard dick to twitch inside of her. “Tired.” She reaches between her thighs, experimentally touching where we’re joined. “Sticky.”

“Yeah.” I chuckle. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

I attempt to disentangle myself from her to stand, but her soft whimper stops me in my tracks.

“Sorry,” she says, blushing so pretty. “It’s dumb, but I… I don’t want to let you go.”

I grin up at her, not wanting to let her go either. “You’re in luck then, because you don't have to. I’m yours forever.” I press a quick kiss on her forehead. “Now, wrap your arms around my neck.”

She does, and I jackknife myself into a seated position, sliding my arms beneath her legs so that I can stand, cradling her to my chest.

It’s wild to me how small she is, even in her second trimester, but I know she’s eating well and that the baby’s fine. They’re both healthy and safe, and really, that’s all anyone can ask for.

I carry her into the bathroom and set her down on the mat outside of the shower. She wraps her arms around herself and watches me with a soft look in her eyes as I start the shower.

Once the water’s warm I turn back to her, only to find her sort of in a trance-like state, staring off at nothing. She’s so totally still, she reminds me of a statue. If it wasn’t for the shallow rise and fall of her chest, I’d be truly worried.

“Pip.” I skim the back of my knuckles along her freckled cheekbone. “You with me?”

Nora jolts, snapping her wide hazel eyes up to mine. “Yeah. Sorry, I’m, um…”

“Can I hold you?” I ask, hoping like hell she lets me.

She nods and I don’t hesitate, wrapping her in my arms and pulling her close. “I love you, Nora, so much. You know that, right?”

“Yeah.” She sniffles and nods. “I love you, too.” I can tell from the sound of her voice that she’s crying, and it absolutely guts me.

“In you go,” I murmur, lifting her into the shower before joining her. I walk her back into the spray, letting her shivering body warm as I squirt some shampoo into the palm of my hand.

“Can you talk to me? Tell me what’s going through that pretty little head of yours?”

“I just…” She shudders and once again wraps her arms around herself. “I didn’t know sex could be like that. Before tonight, it’s always been something I feared. Something used against me, to hurt me. But you…”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. If she says I hurt her, I don’t know what I’ll do. Kick my own ass, for starters.

“You were so soft, and kind, and just perfect.” She blinks up at me, her tears mingling with the water falling from the showerhead. “I was scared, you know? That it would hurt, or that I wouldn’t like it, that I’d disappoint you, I don’t know.”

She shrugs, trying to downplay her emotions, but that doesn’t fly with me.

“Nora, you could never disappoint me.”

“But what if I freaked out or had a flashback or?—”

I tunnel my sudsy fingers into her hair, massaging her scalp. “You survived unspeakable trauma, Pip. Tonight was… amazing, but also a lot, I’m sure. And while you handled everything really well, there may be times you don’t. And when and if that happens, I’ll be there, at your side, doing everything I can to help you through it.”

She tips her head back, rinsing the shampoo from her hair. “I don’t deserve you.”

Her voice is quiet, and yet it echoes like a gunshot. Fitting, since it feels like a bullet’s tearing through the muscle and sinew of my chest.

I grip her chin softly and tilt her gaze back to mine. “That’s bullshit.”

She gasps. “It’s not. You… you deserve someone who isn’t broken?—”

“I mean this as kindly as possible, but fuck what you think I deserve. Iwantyou and Iloveyou and I want to be with you for as long as you’ll have me. If you don’t feel the same, if we’re moving too fast or tonight was too much for you, tell me and I’ll step back. I’m willing to wait, no matter how long it takes. You’re my endgame, Nora. My priority, my forever.”

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