Page 16 of Hot Receiver

There’s no best-case scenario for me right now.

Fuck half-full.

This glass is completely empty.

Matt lets out a deep sigh and turns toward me. I shift under the heat of his gaze. Tingles shoot to the tips of my fingers and the ends of my hair.

But I can’t bring myself to look at him. The wounds have been torn open, and seeing the guilt and remorse in his eyes would be like pouring rubbing alcohol directly into the raw gashes.

I know it’s there because I saw it in Marc’s office right after he came up with the master plan to make us best friends for the benefit of the press. And as much as I hate to admit it to myself, the plan almost made a dying ember of hope flicker back to life deep in my black heart.

Almost.

Until Iremembered.

His life is perfect. He has everything he wants.

And what he wants doesn’t include me.

I grit my teeth and stare out the front windshield.

“Zak.”

Tiny hairs shoot up on the back of my neck. I always loved the deep timbre of his voice; he could get me to do anything just by the vibration of his lips against my ear. I could get hard right now thinking about the filthy promises he’d whisper when we fucked.

Son of a bitch.

“I didn’t want this fucking team. Those bastards turned my love for the game into hatred. I haven’t watched a single game since my injury. Since you betrayed me. And now I’m being pulled back into the middle of a shit storm because of something I used to love but now detest.”

“Are you only talking about the game right now?”

His voice ripples through me. I squeeze my eyes shut and ball my hands into tight fists.

God, I’m so weak. Even after all this time, he could unravel me so easily if I gave in to all the pent-up desire coursing through me right now.

My eyes fly open, and I twist around in the seat. “It doesn’t matter. I’m equally disgusted with both, and the last thing I want is for my life to be polluted byeither.”

He runs a hand through his hair. It’s cut shorter than it was in college. Moonlight hits the top of his head, making the gelled strands shimmer. It hangs a little lower in the front and is buzzed shorter around the sides.

I want to grab it, drag my fingers through it, tug on it while my lips devour his?—

Fuck!

I cover my face with my hands. Of all nights to be without my own damn car…

“You need to hear the truth about what happened.” His brows knit together. “At least give me a chance to explain now since you didn’t eight years ago. Maybe hearing my side will make you understand. If we’re gonna pull off this whole media show, you have to give it an honest chance.”

“Honesty,” I scoff. “I didn’t realize you knew the meaning of the word.”

“I deserve that.” He pauses for a second. “Look, I was wrong. So fucking wrong for what I did to you. It was just that…you seemed so sure of yourself. Like you knew exactly what you wanted. I didn’t. And I…I did care about you. But that night…that game…” Matt shakes his head. “The guys, I don’t even know how they got a hold of that video. And I tried to stop them, I swear I did. But?—”

“Stop,” I yell, slamming my fist on the dashboard. “You know what? Maybe you need to talk it out, to ease your own conscience. But I don’t fucking care, okay? I’ve put it all behind me, Matt. I let go of my dreams.All of them.I can’t go down that road again. I won’t. It’s taken me a long time to move past it, and at this point, I don’t give a shit what you have to say.”

My pulse throbs against my throat, and I move closer to him and reach out a hand. Grabbing his shirt, I pull him against me so he’s forced to look directly into my eyes. I want him to see everything that’s plagued me since that night.

He doesn’t struggle in my grip. Doesn’t even try to pull away.

“If it was so goddamn important for you to come clean, you should have done it eight years ago. You could have sent me a fucking letter, a text, or an email. Or you could have been a man and done it to my face. You didn’t do a goddamn thing to prove to me that what happened between us was real. And that means it wasn’t. Not to you.” I let him go and shove the dooropen. Fuck this wholeDriving Miss Daisybullshit. I’m getting a goddamn Uber.

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