Page 40 of Hot Receiver

I grit my teeth.

Again? Really?

I shouldn’t care who he dates. I shouldn’t care who he fucks!

But goddammit, I am a liar.

Because I do. so much more than I even thought. And that makes Matt more dangerous to me now than he ever was.

A shadow eclipses his face, his eyes narrowing, jaw so tight it could crack if he clenches any harder. “This is where I tell you that you don’t know anything about me or my life.”

We stand in the foyer, glaring at each other. Tiny sparks fire into the air, heating the cloud of desire that we both seem to be fighting against.

I hate that he’s right, that I don’t have anyone to talk to, that I keep people at arm’s length because of my past. It’s easier being perceived as a stuck-up dickhead than let anyone else in close enough to destroy whatever slice of my heart is left.

I wasn’t only betrayed by Matt. I was betrayed by my teammates, guys I thought were my friends. I thought we were a unit. Like a fucking family. It hurt like hell when they edged me out and then sided with that dickhead Travers to conspire against me and push me out because I was gay. After my injury, I decided it wasn’t worth keeping close relationships because they’d only feed people ammunition to use against me and hurt me again.

I’m better by myself. I knowIwon’t let me down.

But on the flip side, because of choices I made, there’s nobody a phone call away when I need to talk through the things polluting my mind.

“Other people have shit to deal with, too. It sucks aboutyour dad, but you’re not the only one who got dealt a crappy hand. Now you need to deal with it the best way you can. But I’m telling you that avoiding your responsibilities and flying off the handle when you feel like you’re backed into a corner isn’t going to do you any good.” His fingers clench and unclench at his sides. “It’ll just make things worse. You can’t run away from them.”

Rage slices through me. “Or, here’s an idea, I could just throw someone under the bus to take the focus off me.”

Matt’s blue eyes flicker with alarm. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

My pulse jumps into my throat and hammers hard. “Come on, Matt. You know exactly what I’m talking about. Right?” I seethe. “I need to steal a page out of your playbook, and then everything’ll be just fine. It’s all about screwing people over to get what you want. You’re a fucking master at that. Teach me your ways, fuckhead.”

“You’re a real asshole. I came here to talk and?—”

“And what? Relieve some of your guilt?” I circle him like a predator eyeing his prey. “Screw that. You’re preaching to the choir. Telling me I can’t run away. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

His lips are so close to mine, I can taste them.

But a tiny part of me wants to bite them off and spit them out because of his fucking bullshit condescending advice.

“I didn’t run away.”

“Didn’t you?” I snarl. “You ran from the truth and that makes you a goddamn hypocrite.”

“Shut the fuck up.” His voice is a low growl. He’s teetering on the edge, and I so badly want to throw him over it. The muscles in his forearms tense as he balls up his fists.

I nod my head at his fists. “You’re going to punch me? Because you know I’m right, and you can’t stand to hear it?”Adrenaline floods my veins, my skin prickling under his heavy stare. “Good. Fucking do it. You’re a goddamn liar and a poser.Pathetic.” I almost choke on the words. They taste like shit on my tongue, and I wish with everything in me that they weren’t true.

Because then we could be together.

My insides shudder and quake, heat coursing through my limbs. Matt reaches behind my head and grabs my hair.

Fuck me if my cock doesn’t spring to life at the murderous glint in his harsh stare.

He drags my ear close to his lips, his breath scorching my skin. “You’re right. I am all those things.”

Blood rushes between my temples as he clamps down on my lobe with his teeth.

“Now punish me for every single one of them.” His tongue slides over the outer shell of my ear. “And make it fucking hurt.”

Chapter 19

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