Page 84 of Hot Receiver

“Holy fuck,” Ryan mutters, tossing his files aside and sitting up straight.

I jab my finger on the volume button, my eyes locked onto Matt’s blue ones. And despite all the feelings of anger and rejection, I can’t help but get sucked into them. His voice is strong and self-assured, just like the rest of him.

I sit there, perfectly still, transfixed by his words.

“I didn’t have a picture-perfect childhood. My dad went through a really tough time financially. He made some bad choices, got caught up with some dangerous people. And it took a toll on our family. I worked a few jobs at once to help out at home through high school figuring if I could play football professionally, I’d be able to help more, maybe fix everything that had been broken.”

He pauses, adjusting his tie.

“I did everything I could to get recruited to a school with a great football program. And I was lucky enough to get drafted by Ohio State. I had the chance to play with some amazing athletes, including Zak Kacey, owner of the Cincinnati Crusaders.”

I shift on the couch, feeling Ryan’s eyes burn into my skull.

“But I did wrong by the team, the university, and the NCAA. My dad came to me, begging me to throw a game so he could win a bet because he’d bet the mortgage, and we were indanger of losing the house. So, I did. And I did it the next two times he asked.”

Camera flashes blink like crazy, but Matt never rattles. He just tells his story.

“I violated the code of conduct and just about every other code out there. And then someone caught me on video, agreeing to help my dad. That someone has held the video over my head for years, but I don’t want to cower from my past actions anymore.”

“Did you know about this?” Ryan asks.

I turn my head to look at him, his expression incredulous. I’m sure he knows as well as I do that that knowledge makes me accountable, too, since I’m the team owner.

But I give a swift nod anyway. “I only just found out about it the other night.”

“Damn…” Ryan turns back to the television, and I clench the remote in both hands.

“Brett Travers is that guy.” Matt’s jaw tenses. “And I’m coming out with this story because it doesn’t only impact me. It impacts someone else as well, someone who lost his shot at greatness because of Brett’s insecurity and greed. Brett used the video against me as leverage. There was a certain player who had come out as gay and Brett used that as a way to bully him off the team because he felt threatened. He told me he’d expose me if I told anyone about his plans.”

Matt stops again, his eyes steely and determined.

A chill zips down my spine, his gaze pulling me in deep.

“I made the worst mistake of my life by letting Brett control me like that. Not only did the NFL miss out on a world-class player…”

Matt drifts off and my breath hitches.

“But I missed out on the love of my life. I let him become atarget. I watched it happen, and I didn’t stop it. And because of that, I lost him.”

A gasp goes through the press.

“Jesus, are you hearing this?” Ryan exclaims. “Fucking Matt Harrison isgay?”

“I spent years in denial of my feelings, and I hid my secret from the world. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago when he barreled back into my life that I realized I couldn’t deny it to myself anymore… that I still loved him. But I did everything wrong and managed to push him away again because I was afraid of being honest and true to myself and to the rest of the world. It’s a loss I will regret forever.”

He stares hard into the camera.

“I’ve made so many mistakes in my life, but the worst one was letting the man I love more than anything think I didn’t care about him. I don’t know if he’s watching, or if he’ll even care since I’ve already hurt him more times than I can count. More than anything, I want him to be happy. I just hope he can forgive me. And as far as any disciplinary actions go, I understand that there will be severe consequences to my actions. I deserve whatever comes to me.”

Matt’s lips lift into a tight smile. “Thank you for your time today.”

I sit back, stunned at what I just saw and heard.

He put his entire career on the line and came clean about everything Brett had hanging over his head.

He came out to the world.

And he told me in front of a sea of cameras that he loves me…more than anything.

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