Page 39 of Puck Lust

Why I tried to stop him from leaving the bar the other night.

Why I tried to break through the barbed-wire fence he has wrapped so tight around himself.

When I touched him, all of those pent-up, teenaged feelings came rushing back with a force that could knock me into next year.

The memory of his lips on mine, the taste of spearmint on his tongue, his powerful hands cupping my face…all of it hit me like a Mack truck.

I saw it coming but couldn’t get out of the way fast enough before it steamrolled me into the ground.

So I did the only thing I could think of.

And this time, it was me who lashed out.

At probably the worst possible time ever.

For years, I’ve kept these feelings buried under the rivalry I built up in my mind. Hell, he was so good, nobody could ever rivalhim. But jealousy, awe, and my constant need for acknowledgment and approval solidified him as my rival. It was the only way I could protect myself from the truth.

Everyone knew we came up in the circuit together. They knew Jack’s star shone brighter than anyone’s, including mine. And they never fucking stopped talking about it, how great it must have been to play with him, how much I must have learned, how exciting it was for him to take us to the championship games year after year.

Him.

Not me.

Like my hard work and dedication meant shit to our success.

I was never good enough when Jack was around.

I was still never good enough when he wasn’t.

But all that anger and envy weren’t enough to crush the feelings of yearning I’d secretly felt.

And the war raging deep in my mind and heart right now tells me they never will.

Because one thing has me reeling.

That moment.

That one touch on the stairs.

Whatever I felt moments ago wasn’t one-sided.

I could see it, feel it. Fuck, whatever crackled between us was so heavy in the air, I could have sunk my teeth into it.

And I know he felt it, too.

The look in his eyes just now tells me he never forgot that kiss from years ago.

Slamming my fist against the wall, a groan rumbles in the back of my throat.

I had to open my mouth and fuck it all up because I was scared of answering the question in his heated gaze.

The question I’ve always been too afraid to answer.

I freaked out again because what the fuck would everyone think if my secret was exposed?

If they knew I had feelings for a guy?

If I was…gay?

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