Page 40 of Puck Lust

What would my family think?

What would my fans say?

There are enough chips stacked against me.

What if I’m not strong enough to handle the backlash?

Frenzied thoughts zapped my mind, and the only thing I could think to do was put up my own walls.

So I did, effectively blockinghimout.

I scrape my hands down the front of my face.

But I still can’t fucking let go. I never could.

My heart thumps and thrums as I run back to our room.

I slide the keycard against the lock and the door clicks. My throat tightens, pulse hammering hard.

“Jack, I?—”

But the words die on my lips when I see the room is empty.

And he’s gone.

My cell phone buzzes against my leg and I grab it out of my pocket.

Shoulders slumping, I hit the Accept button.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Carter, I just saw the news. Is Jack okay?”

I sink onto the edge of my bed, a deep sigh slumping my shoulders.

What a fucking loaded question.

“I don’t know,” I finally say.

“You don’t know?” he asks. “You really need him to win this game against the Iron Hawks. He wasn’t hurt, was he?”

“You know, there’s more to life than just winning, Dad,” I say, an edge to my voice. “What happened out there was fucking horrible, and I was only a witness. Imagine how he felt. He may not have been hurt physically, but mentally?” I shake my head and rake a hand through my hair. “I can’t imagine he’s okay.”

“I didn’t mean to downplay what happened,” Dad says, a hint of surprise in his voice. “I was just concerned.”

“I get it. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

I fall back against the mattress, the ache in my chest making me wince.

“He’s not here right now. I think he needed to be alone,” I say. “Everyone is kind of rattled because of the demonstration. They all think?—”

I snap my lips shut because I don’t want to even hear the words come out of my mouth.

“They think the fact that he’s gay is going to cost them, right?” Dad asks in a low voice. “That he’ll become a liability to the team.”

I squeeze my eyes shut. “Yes. They’re worried.”

Dad lets out a sigh. “I told you last night, it’s always going to be a challenge for him. No matter how well he performs, people will still judge him. A lot of fans will never support him because he’s gay, and if he loses fans, he’ll lose other opportunities.”

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