Page 50 of Puck Lust

And I couldn’t wait around to witness him flip the fuck out again, just like he did the first time I kissed him.

So my mind didn’t give a crap that my heart was ready to explode with fucking glee at what he’d just done to me, at what we could do together. What we could be together. All it knew was that there would be danger ahead if I stayed in that bed with him.

So I didn’t.

I ignored my heart and left. Got myself a different room and slammed the door closed.

Literally and figuratively.

Haven’t spoken or looked at him since.

Classic asshole move.

The next day, I played the best game of my life against the Minnesota Kings.

I knocked their asses off their thrones during those three periods.

And it wasn’t because I finally busted a nut,either.

It was because I was able to lock in. Yeah, I got off, but more than that, I finally got my answer.

I didn’t realize I’d even been waiting for it, but Carter’s face and eyes left no room for interpretation.

All those seemingly longing looks, all those personal questions, all those pokes into my mind to get me to open up…it was all for the good of the team. Nothing else.

And while Carter might have been curious about what sex with me might have been like, he’d never do anything to jeopardize his place on the team. He was scared shitless that someone might have seen us kiss years ago at junior hockey camp.

I’m supposed to believe that he’d be good with people knowing we fucked?

Hell no.

How could I trust him, knowing how quickly he fell apart after just a kiss?

The regret would crush him, and then me, if I waited around for a second longer.

He made a big sacrifice to keep the team on top.

Must really want that ring. I guess as the unofficial captain of the Raptors, he did what he needed to do.

Talk about taking one for the team.

I pull myself off the ice as some of the kids walk into the rink. They wave, smile, call out their hellos.

Still fucking hurts, though.

I should know by now that the relationship crap isn’t for me. Fooling myself into believing it can be is just plain stupid.

It’s damn obvious I can’t get past my own issues to trust anyone, and nobody worth anything is gonna wait around for me to figure out how to do that.

I drag myself off the ice and clap my gloved hands together. “Okay, guys, start warming up. We’ll work on some drills first.”

One of the kids, Jeremy, walks into the rink, shoulders slumped, eyes staring at the floor as he dumps his duffel bag onto a bench.

I skate over to him. “What’s good, Jer?”

He raises his eyes to me, and the pain glaring back is like a swift kick to my gut. “Not much.”

“Did something happen at school?”

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