Page 63 of Puck Lust

I want so badly to plug his ass full of bullets.

One day I will.

One day…

“Get up,” he bellows again. He flings the blanket off of me and smushes the tip of his cigarette against my arm. It sears my skin, the stench of charred flesh in my nose. I scream and push him off of me.

“I hate you,” I yell. “I hate youso much.”

He flashes a nasty smirk at me and leans close, then smashes the bottom of the beer bottle against my nightstand.

“You wanna go, Jackie boy?” He waves the jagged glass in front of my face. “I won’t hurt your pretty face. But the rest of you ain’t gonna be so lucky if you don’t get that ass up now.”

“I never let anyone know how bad things got. Yeah, there was talk in town, but the couple of times I said something to teachers or coaches, he came after me.” I take in a deep breath. “I had to get away from him. I didn’t know what else to do. I only had one chance. I didn’t have enough money to get out on my own. And nobody wanted to mess with my father.”

I drop my head onto Carter’s shoulder and wrap my arms around his neck. He knows I’m not telling him the whole truth, would never understand what I have to protect and why.

But he doesn’t ask.

He just holds me, giving me the security I’ve craved for as long as I can remember.

Before now, I’ve only relied on myself for it.

“Not even Sam knows about my past,” I say. “It’s just always been safer for me to act like it never happened.”

And pray the truth never comes out.

Because once it does, my entire life will unravel.

TWENTY-TWO

carter

Jack spentthe night wrapped in my arms. I said I wouldn’t leave him, and I meant it. He didn’t rest soundly, though. He muttered a lot, his dreams…or likely, nightmares…holding him captive through the hours until early-morning sunlight peeked into the blinds in my bedroom.

I’d never felt so helpless. I had no words for him, no ability to chase away his demons.

And now all I want to do is comfort him, make him believe that whatever happened isn’t going to take away everything he’s worked for. It won’t ruin his life.

But I might be lying because I don’t actually know specifically what demons he’s running from. He only let me in so far last night before retreating back into his one-man shell.

I know it’s because he doesn’t feel like he can trust me entirely.

And I get it because of what he’s been through.

I’ve never felt more grateful for my family than I did last night after hearing those horror stories about Jack’s childhood. My heart ached for the little boy who basically had nobody but himself to rely on.

It doesn’t come as much of a shock why he’s adopted that mindset as an adult.

His even, warm breaths heat my skin where his face rests against my chest and I run a hand down the slope of his back, which I found out he absolutely loves. I’ve never seen a huge hockey player melt over a simple touch but for Jack, maybe it’s something he’s never experienced before. Something gentle, something loving.

It’s sad, gut wrenchingly so.

But it makes me feel closer to him, and nothing has ever made me happier, if I’m being honest.

He has my heart.

I just hope he’s careful with it this time.

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