Page 69 of Puck Lust

A shudder quakes my insides. “Am I really supposed to sit back and watch it happen without doing anything about it? The kid needs help. I needed help and nobody gave a shit.”

I pull my gaze from Carter’s pained expression.

“I know how it feels to be invisible, to be completely alone without any escape from the hell I lived in. To be desperate for a future far away from the one person who was supposed to love me unconditionally but hated me instead.”

Carter’s grip on me tightens but he doesn’t speak. He doesn’t need to.

“Is this what you wanted? To break down my walls, figure out who I am beneath the layers, and hear my sob story?” I lean close to him. “Trust me, you haven’t even scratched the surface.”

TWENTY-FOUR

carter

The next day,I arrive at the arena for our game against the Toronto Flames. I’d wanted Jack to stay with me last night. He was messed up about Jeremy and tried to play it off, but I could tell how hard it hit him.

And how hard he wanted to hit Jeremy’s dad.

He went home instead. I didn’t press him about it. I knew he needed space to process everything he’s been through over the past couple of days, so I went home alone.

I tried to distract myself with things around my condo to keep my mind off of him but I didn’t have to do it for long because only a couple of hours passed before he called. We stayed on the phone for hours, sometimes not even talking, just listening to each other breathe.

I would have run to him in a hot minute, but I also know what happens when the two of us get together in a heated rush of emotion.

Overindulging in animalistic sex would feel amazing, but it wouldn’t help him face the things that are hanging over him like a dark cloud.

Space is good. At least, that’s what I told myself.

A tiny part of me is flattered he chose to open up to me. He was with Sam for a couple of years and he knew nothing about Jack’s past. Jack and I were enemies up until a few weeks ago, and yet he trusted me with his darkest secrets.

Maybe his demons should scare the shit out of me and make me hightail it far away from him. But his vulnerability only makes me want him more. And God, do I want him. But the annoying-as-fuck voice in the back of my mind keeps reminding me that there’s more than what he’s shared with me…and it may be way worse than what I already know.

I walk into the locker room and dump my bag on the bench, scouting the area for Jack. His locker is opened a crack, bag unzipped on the bench.

And I know exactly where he is right now.

I hurry to get suited up, half-listening to the guys make plans to go to The Penalty Box after the game, which doesn’t start for another hour.

“You coming?” Tate asks as I slam my locker closed.

“Yeah. After we destroy Toronto, I’ll be thirsty.”

The guys cheer, and I flash them a quick smile before darting out of the locker room.

I break into a light jog, my skate guards thumping on the ground and echoing in the tunnel. It’s quiet since the arena hasn’t opened for spectators yet. I wind through the labyrinth of tunnels in search of Jack, passing an area hidden by a large column.

Things between us have gotten incredibly intense in a short amount of time, and I have no idea how this whole coming out thing is supposed to go, but all I know is that I can’t be without him. All the feelings I had as a teenager flared up like a raging inferno when he appeared back in my life, and they’ve only gotten stronger as we’ve spent more time together. It scares me, if I’m being honest. I’ve never had suchan insatiable craving for another person. Ever. When we’re not together, all I can do is obsess about him, about what he’s done to me, what more he will do to me.

I feel like the air is thicker and heavier when he’s not around, like I can’t breathe freely.

Ironically, I need him for clarity, to make sense of everything I’m experiencing.

For so long, I buried the ache under disgust. Now, I can’t get enough of the guy.

And right now, he’s in a bad place. I want to be there for him, to help him work through whatever his truth is.

Just like he’s helping me through mine.

A swift tug on my wrist jolts me from my thoughts and I’m pulled into the darkness, my yelp silenced with the heat of demanding lips.

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