Page 92 of Puck Lust

“Jack,” he calls out. “I came here to find you and tell you I’m sorry.”

I stop, let out an unsteady breath, and turn to look at him. “You’re a pathetic piece of shit. I don’t believe you’re sorry. I don’t believe a single fucking thing you’ve ever told me. You lied. You betrayed my trust.”

He runs over to me like he just remembered how to use his legs. “Listen, it was shitty to do that to you. I shouldn’t have let my father say those things, I should have spoken up and told him how I feel about you.”

“Oh, but you did,” I say. “You were very clear about my baggage and my troubles and how you weren’t going to get in deep. And here’s more of a reason for you to stay away. I’m about to air my dirty laundry to the world at a press conference tomorrow.” I roll my eyes. “So just fuck off. Go crawl back to your whore of a girlfriend. You guys are perfect for each other.”

“I was scared. I was honest about that. You knew I needed to take my time with this.” Carter wrings his hands together. “I panicked.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore because off the ice, I don’t want anything to do with you. Keep living in your fucking scared little bubble, miserable and alone.”

I pull my keys out of my pocket and click the alarm on my car.

“Wait,” he says, desperation tingeing his words.

But I can’t listen to another word. My stomach is in knots, and if I don’t get away from him, I’m gonna pummel his ass into the concrete.

“Livvie saw us kissing that day at the arena,” he blurts. “She came to my place today and told me she’s going to leak a video.”

A nasty smile plays at my lips. I twist to see the pained look on his pale face. “Isn’t that poetic justice? You threw me under the bus because you were so afraid about anything damaging your precious reputation, and now your dipshit girl is gonna blow that reputation to hell because you’re linked with the NHL bad boy. Literally. Lip to fucking lip.” I let out a dry chuckle. “Can’t wait to see how that plays out. How’s Daddy gonna feel once that video comes out and he sees his golden boy with his tongue down my throat?”

I shake my head and open the driver’s side door. “If you’re looking for my sympathy, you’re barking up the wrong tree. Igave you everything and you threw it all back in my face. I’ve got nothing left, and nothing is way fucking more than you deserve.”

“Jack, please,” he says, a pleading look in his eyes. “You have to believe that I never wanted to hurt you.”

“I told you. I don’t believe a fucking word you say,” I say through clenched teeth, gripping the door handle so tight, my fingertips numb. “Now back the fuck up and walk away. Don’t look back.” My temples pound, heart shattering with each word I spew. “I know I sure as hell won’t.”

THIRTY-THREE

carter

I watchJack’s Audi peel out of the parking space and speed out of the garage, the weight in my chest like a bag of cement.

Of course he’d leave. How the hell could I blame him? I did the exact thing he feared the most. He took a risk, opened up for the first time, told me everything about his past, and I…

I fucking destroyed him. I let him believe he wasn’t worth my time or my love.

I did the very worst thing imaginable to him, exactly what his parents did.

I’m as bad as they are.

I press my fingertips to my temples, tears stinging my eyes.

I love him. I think I always have.

But now he’s gone. Forever. Because I was too weak to own my truth.

I stagger over to my truck and climb into the driver’s seat. I hunch over the steering wheel, not knowing who to call or what the hell I’d even say.

Livvie is going to leak the video and my secret will be out.

Iwill be out.

I won’t get to tell people on my terms, the way I wanted.

And she’s right to be pissed at me. I did lead her on. It was wrong, regardless of what she did with Lane.

She gave up a lot for a future with me, and I let her believe in a fairy-tale ending for us.

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