Page 94 of Puck Lust

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” he says. “I know how hard it is to be outed against your will. I feel horrible.”

“Nah, it’s not your fault. It’s mine. I should’ve owned it a long time ago but didn’t. I was too afraid and now, I have no choice but to face it.”

“Jack’s a really good person to have on your side. He’ll stand by you. But please, don’t blame him. This is one hundred percent on me. I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. I know that sounds weird, but maybe I needed a push. I mean, this was more aggressive than I would have wanted, but it’s out and life goes on.” I run a hand through my hair and lean back against a wall. “Well, ideally, it should. But I made a mistake today that cost me the person who makes me happiest in the world.”

“Okay, now I’m the one who doesn’t understand. What do you mean? Where’s Jack?”

“I came here hoping to find him.” Over the next few minutes, I fill Sam in on the whole sordid story, except for Jack’s truths. That’s his story to tell, not mine. He trusted me and I already betrayed him once. I can’t violate his trust again.

“Damn,” Sam says once I’m finished. “I get why he doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“Thanks,” I snap.

“Jack isn’t the kind of guy who gives lots of chances. If you screw him over, you’re done. He’s always been that way. He doesn’t trust easily, I know that from experience. I don’t think he ever fully trusted me, and we were together for years.”

His words lance my heart because he did fully trust me and I was so fucking careless with something that was so important to him.

“I fucking ruined everything,” I mutter, dropping my head into my hands.

“Maybe.”

I look at Sam though my fingers. “What do you mean, maybe?”

He shrugs. “You shit the bed, bro. No doubt about that. But don’t just stand here and lament. Fight for him. Yeah, sure, he’s got a royalty complex on the ice, but he’s a great guy. One of the best. And if you came here trying to fix things with him, then you already know it.”

“He’s doing a press conference tomorrow, I guess to tell his side of things. I need to be there for him. I need to show him support, no matter what happens, to let him know how I feel and that I won’t stop trying to win him back.”

“I can’t tell you how he’ll react. He shuts down fast. You may be out of time.” Sam smiles. “But he’s worth the shot. Take it.”

“I can’t let go,” I say. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my life. It’s always been him, from junior hockey days. I was too scared to face the truth, and now I’m panicked that I might not get the chance to have a future with him.”

“It’s always darkest before the dawn,” Sam says, clapping a hand on my shoulder. “Brixton and I went through a lot, too. But if it’s worth it, you keep pushing. You don’t give up.”

“I won’t.”

“I know.”

My shoulders slump. “I can’t believe how badly I fucked things up.”

“You can still make them right. I believe that.” He pauses. “Brixton and I will be there tomorrow, too. Nobody wants to see Jack go down for that guy. We’re all in his corner.”

“Thanks, Sam.” I straighten up. “I’ve got to take care of something. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I walk out of Play It Forward, my feet dragging like I’m sloughing through wet tar. I finally climb into my truck and pull out my phone.

With a rocketing pulse, I stab a phone number into the keypad.

My dad’s face appears on the screen. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t even say hello.

I guess the shock has rendered him speechless.

“Dad,” I say, clutching the phone tight, my fingers digging into the sides. “I guess you saw the video.”

“You and Jack,” he finally says.

I nod. “I’m gay, Dad. And I’m in love with Jack. Have been for a long time. But I was too afraid of what it might do to my career and to my relationship with you if I admitted it. I didn’t mean for you to find out this way, but I?—”

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