Page 97 of Puck Lust

My gaze flicks back to Carter. “You know, people are always so fascinated by my hockey career, my talent and ability. Hockey truly is all that I have and I’d be lost without it. But that’s a sad realization to come to. My past kept me from trusting people and forming meaningful relationships, so I threw myself into hockey, and while I love it, it’s a lonely life. I don’t want anyone to have to go through life the way I have because people were too scared to take action and protect kidswho suffer the same things I did. It was wrong and I wish I could go back and do things differently but I can’t. So today, I’m asking for your understanding. I’m not a vicious, dangerous guy. I’m a product of my past, like we all are. Thanks for listening.”

I sit back in my chair and Rex lets out a long breath.

The silence is deafening before utter chaos erupts. Camera flashes blink like crazy, rising voices battling to be heard. Rex takes the microphone and starts taking questions.

I don’t know how much more damage I just did to my reputation by going off script and saying all that but fuck, I feel so free. Like everything weighing me down for so many years is finally lifted. I can breathe.

Bob and Enver answer questions from the audience and I half-listen, eager to get out of here and put all of this behind me.

My cell phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out. A text flashes on the screen and my blood ices in my veins.

Jeremy.

I’d given him my number and told him to call or text any time he needed anything. I knew the kid would need a lifeline at some point and that I’d drop everything to help if he reached out.

I stab the screen to open the text.

Hey, it’s Jeremy. Things got really bad with my dad and I need to get out of here before something happens.

Gritting my teeth, I send a response.

Text the address. I’ll be there soon.

About thirty seconds later, he sends the information. I shove the chair back, ready to shoot out of it when one of the reporters calls out to me.

“Jack, it was just reported that Alex Dalton was found overdosed in a hotel room and pronounced dead at the scene,” someone calls out, holding up a phone. “Do you have a comment?”

I stare at the reporter and nod. “Yep. We reap what we sow.”

Turning to Rex, Bob, and Coach Enver, I say, “I’ve got to go. I’m sorry.”

Then I bolt from the room, ignoring the voices that trail behind me. I rush toward the elevator, my pulse lodged in my throat.

While I pace in front of the elevators, I hear footsteps pound along the floor behind me.

“Come on, open,” I mutter, raking a hand through my hair.

“Jack,” Carter rasps, grabbing my arm. “Wait.”

My back stiffens at his touch. When I don’t turn, he walks around so he’s facing me, forcing me to look at him.

But fuck, I can’t. I don’t trust myself. Not now, not ever again.

“I love you, and I’m so sorry for everything I did. I can’t be without you. Please,” he pleads. “The only thing I’m scared about now is that you’ll walk away forever and not let me prove it to you.”

I drop my eyes to where his hand still grips me. I’d wanted to hear those words for so long, to believe them wholeheartedly.

I slowly look at him, my insides shuddering from thepounding of my heart. “I loved you, too. But it’s just not enough. It won’t ever be.”

The elevator dings and the doors open.

I step inside and face the wall until the doors slide closed because I can’t bear to look back.

I can’t allow myself to ever look back again.

THIRTY-FIVE

jack

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