Page 112 of All We Need

“I’ll take that as a yes then.”Hechuckles. “Seriously, though,Ithought you andAlywere past being at each other’s necks.Sowhat’s got your panties in a twist today?”

Sitting up,Ifrown at him. “Mypanties aren’t in a twist.”

He scoffs and jabs a finger toward the kitchen. “Youbit my head off earlier when a server accidentally put through a clam chowder.”

“I eighty-sixed it not five minutes earlier!”Iprotest.

“Yeah, and mistakes happen.You’rethe last personIexpect to be a prick about it.”

My posture collapses.He’sright.I’vebeen irritable all day. “Sorry,”Igrumble, raise my head, and force a smile. “There’sjust been a lot going on.Ididn’t mean to take it out on you.”

Stacking his arms on top of each other, he leans forward, concern scoring his face. “Youwanna talk about it?”

Yes!Iwant to shout.Mysiblings andIdon’t keep secrets from one another.Sinceour dad passed, and with him being the eldest,Pat’staken it upon himself to fill that role as best as he can.

The issue eating away at my brain isn’t mine to share, though, andIwon’t betrayAly’strust. “Nah.Nothingto tell.Ignoreme.”

He stares at me thoughtfully, not convinced. “Youlike working here, right?”

I’m so blindsided that the room spins.

Why would he ask that?DidAlysay something?

No.Shewouldn’t.Weshare that mutual understanding.

“What kind of question is that?”Myvoice pitches.

His eyes narrow. “Somethingyou said a couple of months ago.Beforethe fair.Itstuck with me.”

The scrutinizing look he’s giving me makes my skin itch.Ifiddle with the stack of papers on the table. “You’reoverthinking it.Ican’t even remember whatIsaid.”

“You said, ‘I’mnot sure how much longerIcan continue doing this.’It’snot the first time you’ve said something like that either.”

Goddamn him and his elephant memory. “Yeah, andIwas talking about the new owner.Seriously,Pat, drop it.”

The little white lie doesn’t pacify him, and his resounding exhale makes me feel like shit.

Just tell him.

“Sometimes it feels like your heart isn’t in it anymore.Don’tget me wrong, you’re still fantastic at your job, but something’s missing.Iwas always so jealous of your passion, but these days, you seem eager for your day to end.”Patrickis our dad, throughand through, with their wise words and logical thinking.Itmight as well be my father speaking. “Doyou want to be here?”

I almost choke on the anguish suffocating my airways.

Rationally, there’s nothing to be ashamed about.Weall fantasize.Aboutpicking the winning scratch card or owning a vintage sports car.Iimagine a career outside of these four walls—but that’s all it will ever be.Afantasy.

I would never abandon my family to chase after a dream fated to crash and burn.

The real kicker?I’vefooled no one.Justmyself.Andin doing so,I’vefailed to see the sparkI’velost.

My insides twist.Acorkscrew of emotions.

It would gutPatrickto know the truth, so the easiest thing to do—the thingI’vebeen doing for years—is put on a happy face.

My cheeks stretch, teeth flash, and lips pull tight. “Iwantto be a millionaire, butI’llsettle for you cooking me dinner next week whileIhang out with my niece.”Snatchingup the papers,Istand, face aching. “It’sall good,Pat.Don’tworry about it.”

Patrick rises, eyeing me carefully before nodding slowly. “Okay.I’lldrop it.Butyou knowI’malways here, right?”

“Yes, yes.”Iround the table and slap him on the back. “Myvery ownDearAbby.I’mgonna use the restroom.I’llmeet you out front.”

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