Page 120 of All We Need

I’m mad.Madat her for trying to go at this alone.Madat her for pushing me away.Madat her for calling me out.

She’s mad.Madat me.Madat life.Madat the world.

We are madness.Abeautiful carnage.

This can’t last forever, soIgive her my all in sixty seconds before breaking the kiss.She’sleft panting and clutching at my clothes.Dazed, until the coolness in her gaze freezes over.

“Why did you do that?”Herfingertips brush along her swollen lips.

“If you really want me out of your hair, then consider me gone.I’llbe cordial and well behaved until you jet back toNewYork.”Igrasp her jaw with one hand and tilt her head back. “AtleastIgot one last taste.Buton the off chance you’re bluffing”—Igraze my lips over her temple, breathing her in—“you know where to find me.Hideall you want,Alessandra.”

Her hands float in the air asIretreat, eyes never leaving hers.

“ButIsee you.Allof you.Andit doesn’t scare me.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

alessandra

Humans hate making mistakes.

Thousands of centuries of being wrong and we’re still incapable of accepting it.

Thanks to my ancestors,I’mflawed.Fortunately, my mistake won’t go down in the history books, but it still festers in my head.

After coffee withMartin,Ibegan spiraling.Ilocked myself away in the office, stewing in my thoughts, and whenBoothappeared, eager to help,Ilashed out.

He isn’t unfamiliar to my bite, butIsaw the flash of pain whenIthrew his fears in his face, hoping to deflect from my own.

I realized my mistake as soon as he punished me with that kiss.Itseared through me, hot enough to weld us together.Whenhe tore our lips apart,Ifelt the connection pull taut, on the precipice of snapping.

Hide all you want,Alessandra.ButIsee you.Allof you.Andit doesn’t scare me.

Why?AfterIwas so awful to him?

When he disappeared,Iwanted to chase afterhim to apologize.Butmy stubborn nature, so strongly ingrained, cemented my feet to the floorboards.

I’ve never felt so exposed asIhave withBooth.Itterrifies me.Whatscares me the most is how badlyIwanted to shed the armor, let him comfort and take care of me again, like he did atTheNook.Hewas whoIwanted to turn to when the stress of everything became too much.

Rather than embrace what my heart screamed for,Ineglected it.Boothmight not have left angry, but now that he’s had two days to mull it over, he’s probably grateful.

It’s for the best.Betternow than later when we’re in way over our heads.

My obstinance keeps me from reaching out, and like a coward,I’veworked from home and evaded the restaurant like the plague.Myfridge is barren andI’veresorted to takeout for tonight.Thator starve.

I’m about to check for an update on my pizza order when the buzzer sounds and my stomach grumbles in celebration.

“I’ll be right down,”Isay quickly, and release the intercom button before the delivery driver can reply.Islide on my slippers, open my door, and jog down the stairs to collect my food.

“I’m sorry, do you have change for a fifty?”Withoutlooking up,Irummage in my purse for something smaller. “Actually, just keep the change.”

“Oh, darling, look, she’s tipping us.”

That is not the voice of a teenage pizza delivery boy.

My neck cracks with how quickly it snaps up.Iblink, convincedI’mhallucinating, because why else would my parents be standing outside my apartment?It’slate, the streets dark.Perhapsa trick of the shadows?

It’s only when my mother taps my chin with her slender finger thatIaccept this is reality. “Alessandra, do not gape like a fish.Itis very unflattering,” she scolds, though there’s warmth in her chocolate brown eyes.

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