Page 148 of All We Need

It hasn’t snowed since she metHarvey, and slowly it’s thawing.Thedrive up is quiet, yet peaceful, the crackle of the radio keeping us company as we navigate the winding roads.Whenthe familiarA-frame cabin appears through the windshield, it all becomes very final.

I kill the engine, but neither of us makes a move.

“It feels full circle,” she murmurs. “Alot happened the first time we stayed here together…”

A knot lodges in my throat.AllImanage is a nod.

We unpack the truck, put the food in the fridge, and start a fire.

There’s no discussion about what we do next.Wejust do it—our minds and bodies in sync.Alyunpacks a small easel and paints in front of the window whileIpore over the instructions of my newestLEGOset.There’ssomething comforting about sharing a space with someone, not talking, but finding solace in their presence.

That’s how it is for the next couple of hours until a light touch on my shoulder has me looking up.

Aly jerks her head, asking for me to make space on the sofa.Ishuffle back, and she snuggles into my side, a blanket hiding our entangled limbs.

I wish we existed in a circle.

With no end.

Infinite todays together.

After spending weeks without acknowledging the ticking clock, it stops today.

She rests her cheek on my chest, fingers tracing small patterns on the back of my hand as it rests on her hip. “I’venever struggled to find the right words before, but whenIsearch for the words to thank you, my mind pulls blank after blank.”

Our fingers weave together. “Youhave nothing to thank me for.”

Her gaze burns into the side of my face.Myfavorite little frown is aimed my way whenIglance down. “That’sjust it.Everythingyou’ve done has been so selfless.EvenwhenIwas awful to you, you kept your promises and showed up for me.Relationshipshave been difficult for me in the past because of my defensive nature, yet nothing scared you off.”

The pulse on her wrist matches the tempo of my heart asIraise it to my lips. “Youfucking terrify me,Aly.”

Her frown deepens.

“The feelingsIhave for you petrify me.There’sno controlling or ignoring them.Youstormed into my life, with your sharp tongue and silver eyes, and owned me from that day onward.NowthatIhave you, you’re leaving.”Myforehead falls to hers. “Nothingabout this is fair, but if anyone needs to be thanked, it’s you.”

“What didIdo?”Hereyes fluttered closed, butIdon’t dare shut mine.

“You gave yourself over to me—piece by beautiful piece until a breathtaking mosaic rested in my palms.Iwould have accepted anything, but nowIhave a masterpiece to carry with me.Remindingme of our time together.”

Her eyes fly open, panicked almost. “Thisisn’t goodbyegoodbye.I’llstill keep in touch about the restaurant.”

My laugh lacks all humor.It’snot goodbye, she’s right, but she’ll be theowneragain.Notmine.“That’sthe other thing that scares me.”

She tilts her head.

Voice heavy with emotion, my head lowers until our lips are inches apart. “Sayinggoodbye to this.Itsplits me down the middle, knowing that tomorrow is the last timeIget to kiss you.”

Her lips purse. “Whyis it the last time?”

“Aly…”Mysigh blows through the wispy curls framing her face.Somethingignites in my chest that she’s putting up a fight.

“The distance was an issue at first, and yes, our schedules are equally demanding, but it could work.Wecould make it work.”Sherises to her knees, towering over me, hands resting on my shoulders. “WhatIfeel for you doesn’t scare me,Booth.Itdid at first, and that’s whyIpushed you away.Butno one understands me like you, andIcan’t imagine you not being a part of my life.”Mybody shivers as she drags her nails over my scalp, tilting my head to meet her sanguine gaze. “IfIsee anopportunity,Itake it.AndIwant this.”Shepauses, pinning me with her stare. “Tellme you don’t?”

“That’s exactly it,Silver.”Shefalls into my lap with a single tug.Mynext words are bitter, leaving an acrid taste in my mouth. “Iwant this—you—too much for it to not work out becauseI’mhere and you’re there.Eventually,I’dwant you to stay andIcan’t ask that of you.”

Her silence is telling.

“I dream about it—of a life together.I’verun a million scenarios over in my head and ifIthought there was even the tiniest chance you’d be happy here, fucking believe me,Aly,Iwould have asked weeks ago.”Thesad yet accepting look in her eyes obliterates everythingIhave left. “I’llnever be the same after you,Silv.Never.”

---