Page 53 of The Secrets We Built Together

"You okay down there?"

"This thing was designed by the devil and made in hell's sweatshop where screws are square and somehow still fit into round holes."

Blake laughed and passed me a bottle of water. "I didn't know what you'd want, so I brought this lame offering instead." Our fingers brushed as she handed me the bottle, and I felt that electric awareness that seemed to surge whenever we touched now.

"This is good." I gulped the cold water down, wondering how two hours of building a tiny bed could make me feel this dehydrated.

"I made dinner if you're ready to eat," Blake said.

"You didn't need to do that."

"Please, frozen pizza is my specialty."

I laughed and stood up with a groan. "I'm getting old. Don't tell Dex I said that," I added quickly.

When I walked out of the bedroom, I looked around in surprise, not recognizing the place. It looked softer. Like a family actually lived there. Not only had Blake somehow found the time to put away everything we'd bought, but she'd unpacked some of her own things. A soft rug in front of the couch, throw pillows. Even some lamps that were giving off a warm glow.

"I hope you don't mind," she said nervously.

"Blake, this place looks amazing."

"Yeah, the white clinical aesthetic you had going on didn't seem particularly family-friendly."

Then I looked over at the little kitchen table and saw it set with the pizza in the middle and a bowl of salad. I grinned at Blake, and she did that adorable blush again.

Amelia was in a high chair that we'd bought today, looking at a piece of bread in her chubby hand like it held all the answers to the world's problems. I found myself memorizing every detail of this moment – the way the evening light filtered through the windows, the soft clink of plates as Blake set them down, the gentle cooing sounds Amelia made while examining her soggy, gummed on bread. It felt like home in a way this cottage never had before.

We sat down and started to eat. It felt awkward, but there was also a strange comfortableness to it all. Like I was on the verge of something and just waiting to have the courage to step into it.

"The old clinic looks amazing," Blake blurted out. “You’re doing so much for this town. You should let some of them know about it.”

I shrugged feeling awkward at the thought of receiving any kind of praise. "It’s not that I don’t want to share it. I guess I’m just trying to figure out my path, how I fit into this place. I don't want to be defined by the worst moments in my life anymore. I want... fuck, I don't know what I want. Why is life so difficult? Being an adult is possibly the worst state of being."

Blake laughed. "I couldn't agree more. It's something I've avoided for years."

"Don't do that," I said gently. "Blake, you've done so much with your life. You've lived, you've created. You have a solid foundation of friends that you've built around you."

"And I'm broke, I don't have a proper job, I don't have an apartment," she said, counting them off on her fingers.

"I'm starting to think those things aren't as great as they make them out to be. Look at how royally I screwed all that up. I'm thirty-three, Blake, and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life or what I want out of it," I admitted.

She tipped her head to the side in thought, and I felt myself smiling. "Let's make a pact," she suddenly said. "Let's just see where we go. See the chances presented to us and take a risk even if it makes us uncomfortable."

"Trust the current?"

"Trust the current," she agreed.

We finished eating in a companionable silence. I watched her as she got up to clear the table. The way she moved with such certainty while still managing to look like she was seconds away from breaking into dance. She was chaos and calm all wrapped up in one pink-haired package, and I couldn't take my eyes off her.

When she bent down to wipe a smudge of something inexplicably orange from Amelia's cheek, the baby giggled and grabbed a fistful of her hair. Blake didn't even flinch, just worked her fingers gently free with practiced patience. It was like she'd been doing this her whole life instead of just a few days.

"Where did you learn to be so good with her?" I asked.

Blake shrugged. "I guess I did a lot of this stuff when Delaney had Cade. She was so scared back then that the least I could do was try and take some of the burden off her. Besides as soon as I set eyes on Cade, I knew we were destined to be best friends."

"I wish I could have been there."

She waved her hand dismissively. "I’m just glad that she finally made her way back here, that she finally got her family the way it was supposed to be. We can’t get back the stolen moments, but we can make sure the next ones are beautiful memories to fill in some of the gaps."

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