Page 59 of Bite Your Tongue

Like it has been doing so often in the past few weeks, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I don’t even have to look at it to know who it likely is, but still, I take it out and glance at the screen, just in case I’m wrong.

When Ryder’s name flashes across the screen, I set my phone back down and catch Gemma eyeing me over suspiciously. My best friend isn’t going to let this slide—I know it.

“Who’s calling you, Sails?”

Filling my cheeks with air, I slowly let it out. “Ryder,” I utter. “I’ve been here for how long now? And he still randomly calls and texts.”

I don’t want to tell her that we had a fling because even though she is my best friend, Smith is my brother, and I need to tell him first that I was seeing his best friend behind his back. Besides, I don’t want to tell Gemma that, once again, I got fooled by a person with a dick, mostly because she seems so happy. She doesn’t need my problems dragging her down.

The way she’s looking at me, it’s so clear that she’s sad that we’ve been keeping secrets from each other. I get it; I don’t like it either. I think we haven’t wanted to bring the other one down with our baggage, but we know each other better than that. We’d much rather know than be left in the dark.

“After things ended with dickface and me, I got drunk one night, and I had sex with Ryder,” I say, still not telling her the whole truth because I don’t want to put her in a situation where she feels like she has to keep something from Smith about his best friend. “I found out that he had seen the sex video. And he only got with me because of it.” I look down, disgraced. “Anyone who saw that video could see I was …fun.”

At first, she’s shocked. But then she looks apprehensive.

“Wait … did Ryder tell you that himself?”

“No,” I say. “Dickface did.”

Her eyes narrow, and I know her brain is kicking into high gear, trying to figure this out.

“Rowantold you that?” she blurts out. “And you believed it? And does Smith know this?”

“No,” I protest. “Smith thinks of Ryder like a brother. I’d already ruined his friendship with Rowan. I don’t want to take Ryder away from him, too, just because his sister is a whore.”

“Saylor,” she scolds me sharply, “you’re not a whore. And your brother might love Ryder, but he loves you more. You’re hissister.”

Grabbing my coffee, I stand. “You’d better not say a word to Smith, Gem. I get that you two are happy and all that now, but I told you this as my best friend. Not my brother’s girlfriend.”

My words hit her like a slap in the face.

“Sails, you have to know that no matter what my and Smith’s situation is, you can trust me. Always.”

My free hand balls at my side in frustration. Not toward my best friend, but just at life in general for being so damn annoying. Finally, I sigh in relief because I know she’s right. Of course I can trust Gemma—she’s my person.

“I know. I’m sorry.” I break eye contact, looking down.

I’m ashamed that I’ve made Gemma feel like I don’t trust her, and while I am so happy that she and my brother are working things out, there will always be that bit of worry in my stomach that Smith is replacing me in her life.

People have best friends, sure. But Gemma isn’t just my best friend. She’s my other half. My soulmate. The one who knows me better than anyone.

“Can we table this for now? And talk about anything else?” I suggest, cringing because I so badly need this conversation about Ryder to end.

She stands, taking my hand in hers and smiling nicely. “Sounds like a great time to go find Craig and admire all his pillows.”

Warmth spreads across my chest because … she gets me.

“Agreed.”

As we start to walk, I drag in a breath. “I promise, I’ll talk to Smith sometime.”

“Okay,” she whispers with absolutely no judgment whatsoever in her tone.

Just when I sigh in relief—because we’re walking, it’s a beautiful day, and the conversation about Rowan and Ryder is over—Gemma’s steps stop, and she cringes.

“Okay, before I shut up and we go about our day—trying to find Craig, Shep, and the entireSouthern Charmgang—here’s the thing … your brother has a game tomorrow night in North Carolina, and I sort of promised him you and I would go to it.” Her grimace grows when she shrugs. “You said you have four days off, so … road trip?”

I simply stare at her, completely unimpressed even though, if she could see my heart through my clothes, she’d see it was beating a trillion times a second.

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