Page 66 of Bite Your Tongue

He rolls his eyes at Gem but throws his arm around her shoulders and keeps it there. “I was letting you be the good friend you are, even though I have the boyfriend card, which means no secrets.” His eyes land on me. “Even when it comes to my sister.”

She removes his arm from her and nudges his side. “Never going to happen, babe. Sorry.”

His eyes narrow. “Firefly, I don’t like you very much right now.”

“Dude, what do you expect? We’re best friends.” I put my hand over Gemma’s. “Thank you for always keeping my secrets.”

I bring my hand back and set both of mine on my lap. Pushing my shoulders back, I inhale. “We’ve been sneaking around for a while now, but we didn’t tell you because I was dead set on keeping it just friends.”

“Yeah, with benefits,” Gemma mutters, and instantly, my brother’s mouth hangs open.

“Okay, you’re being mean, Gem.” He scowls. “If you’re going to be like that, I’ll tell my sister all the things I do to you when I—”

Slapping her hand over his mouth, she points her finger at him with her free hand. “Well, you’re not going to do that, jerk.”

When she drops her hand, his eyes sparkle with mischief. “Okay, that’s what I thought.” He turns his attention back to me. “Carry on. Minus any details that you don’t think I—your brother and Ryder’s best friend—would want to hear.”

“That’s a lot,” Gemma utters, snickering like a child. “Sorry. I’m done, I swear.”

I scoff at my best friend while trying not to burst into laughter at the same time. I look over at Ryder, and he gives me a tiny smile, telling me it’s okay.

I debated telling my brother just the basics or diving into the truth about what had led me to move to Charleston and why I had been so set on pushing Ryder away to begin with. Ultimately, even though I think it’s going to hurt Smith to find out just how dirty Rowan did me, I think he needs to hear it from me, in case word ever gets around.

“I didn’t just decide I wanted to live in South Carolina,” I say, swallowing down my nerves. “Sure, it was a bucket-list place to go, but I never intended to leave Maine. I just … well, I had to.” My eyes fly to Gemma’s, and I grimace. “I especially didn’t want to leave you right after you fled here, Gem. And I’m so glad itworked out with you and Smith, and inside, I knew it would, but I still feel awful that I left you the way I did.”

I look down for a moment, gathering myself. “The truth is, Smith, I ran away.”

Ryder’s hand slips into mine, giving it a squeeze.

“Rowan didn’t just dump me and make a fool out of me, Smith. He recorded us having sex, and then he showed it to some of your teammates.”

The words come out so fast, and then I’m left staring at my brother—a huge, muscled, tattooed, and intimidating hockey player—as his heart breaks in front of me. When we were kids, he’d tease me. But taking in the sight of him right now, I’m reminded that no matter what, he is my brother, and he has my back.

“Fucking A, I’m so sorry,” he rasps. Initially, he’s upset. Then his eyes darken, his veins bulge, and his fists ball up on the table. “I’m going to fucking murder Rowan,” he hisses before his eyes dart to Ryder. “You fucking knew?” He rears his head back. “Wait, did you see the fucking video?”

“Not because I wanted to, and I didn’t even know it was—” Ryder’s cut off when Smith is out of his seat and around the table, grabbing him by the fabric of his sweatshirt.

“You fucking knew!” Smith roars. “And you didn’t say a word to me?”

My brother lifts Ryder by the sweatshirt and smashes him into the wall. This is the side of Smith he tries to keep on the ice, but inside, it’s always there. He’s the sweetest guy—just don’t piss him off or fuck with his family or Gemma.

If you mess with her, you’re screwed.

“Smith, stop!” I scream, fully aware that the staff has made their way into the dining room, watching this shitfest unfold. “Let him go!” I wiggle my way between their bodies, forcingthem apart while tears fill my eyes. “They are watching,” I hiss, not saying who.

Within seconds, he turns his head toward the staff. “Get. Out,” he snarls, sending them all scampering.

When he turns his head forward again, his chest is heaving.

“Smith, he didn’t mean to see it. I get how it sounds.” I breathe out a nervous laugh. “Trust me, I reacted pretty similarly when I found out.” I pause. “Well, less aggressively. But still, I was pissed. Ryder broke Rowan’s nose the day he found out,” I say, having just found that out myself. “Your teammates who knew didn’t want to make youorme uncomfortable, so they stayed silent. Just like I would have wanted them to.”

Smith’s nostrils flare before his eyes finally drift to mine. “I wish you had told me,” he whispers angrily. “Rowan got away with it. I didn’t do shit. A sex video, Saylor?” He grits his teeth. “That’s a big fucking deal. You should have fucking sued.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” I try to sound tough, but I fail. “I didn’t just take off to South Carolina for the sunshine or the chance to meet Craig from Southern Charm and buy some pillows, Smith. I did it because I needed to run away. I was ashamed and hurt.” The last words come out as a whimper, and my brother’s hand drops down from Ryder’s hoodie. “Being told by my high school crush years ago that I was just the girl men fucked before they metthe onehurt more than I can tell you. It put a seed of self-doubt in my brain that grew into a fucking forest.”

Tears stream down my face, and my brother’s eyebrows pull together in emotion because he knows that I don’t cry. Especially in front of people.

“But someone recording having sex with me—without me knowing it—and then showing my brother’s team? That kind of pain and betrayal is unimaginable, and it made me question who I could even trust anymore.”

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