It started with a kiss that eventually transported me to heaven.
Chapter 13
This time didn’t hurt nearly as badly. It was still a tight fit, him inside of me, but I wasn’t in excruciating pain—and I could imagine how much better it would feel the next time.
And, of course, he made sure I was fully satisfied before I curled up next to him in that giant bed.
He was quiet as he held me close, and I rested my head on his pec, loving the feel of it against my cheek, appreciating how he smelled. As usual, I refused to let my mind dwell on all the reasons why this was so wrong…because I wanted it to be right.
Instead, my mind went to those journals—and I needed to get Sinclair’s perspective. “Cory,” I said, testing that intimate nickname he’d agreed I could use in his bedroom. When he didn’t respond, I wondered if it was because that word was so foreign to him—or if he’d fallen asleep. So I decided to march onward and state my query. “Tell me about your family.”
“What?” he asked, shifting slightly, his hand beginning to rub my back. I wondered if maybe he had been dozing off.
Turning just a bit, I looked at his face. “Tell me—”
“Ow. You have the boniest chin. Did you sharpen it earlier?”
I smiled. “What?”
“Your chin. It’s cutting into me. That thing is a lethal weapon.”
I couldn’t contain my laugh, but I slid my hand underneath it as a cushion. “Is that better?”
“Much.”
I was still grinning at the idea that such a big strong man could be bothered by something as small as my chin—which was not pointy. But then I wondered if that had simply been a ploy to avoid my question.
I was much more determined than that. “Okay, so now tell me about your family.”
Sinclair’s eyes were closed again, but was it because he was sleepy or because he wanted to avoid my gaze? “I’d rather not.” There it was again—an invisible door that he closed when I got too close to something he didn’t want me to know. That was a reminder for me that we might have been lovers, might have finally found ourselves unable to resist each other…but we were still enemies. And he didn’t want to give me any information I could possibly use against him later.
But I didn’t plan to do that and I didn’t want to. I wasn’t sure why I was asking, other than curiosity spurred by reading his mother’s journals, but I had no intention of using anything he told me to harm him.
Maybe he would do that to me, though.
My heart ached for him. All the time I’d spent with him, regardless of how successful he was, there was something about him that felt lonely…cut off from the world, and I wondered if that was because he wouldn’t let anyone get close.
I wanted to.
As I lay there trying to think of a way to explain why I wanted to know, I had to convince myself first. And I knew why. It was because I really was falling deeply in love with him, but it was hard to reconcile the two men I knew him to be. He was first the ruthless son of an even more ruthless father, a family who had stopped at nothing to crush my father into the ground and, consequently, me. I’d seen it from Sinclair first hand. After all, that was why I was here.
But I also knew him to be gentle and loving. Just thinking back over the weeks I’d been here—carrying me from downstairs to take me to urgent care for my sprained ankle, rescuing me from the two dangerous men downtown the first night I’d been here wanting to escape, even the way he made love to me gently.
The ruthless man? He made me wear a slutty maid costume to humiliate me for disobeying his wishes.
The loving man? He punched and fired the man who thought that costume was an invitation for groping.
The question was which side of Sinclair was the dominant one?
But if he wasn’t going to talk, how could I ever find out?
Before I could think of something else to ask him, he said, “Tell me about your family.”
What was there to tell? “You probably already know all about us.”
“Tell me anyway.” Was that an acknowledgment that he did, in fact, know everything?
Still, I was compelled by his gentle request. As he began stroking my hair, I rested my cheek against his warm flesh again and started talking. “My family is just me and my dad. My mom left when I was still in elementary school. I’m sure you know why.”