Page 91 of The Fire We Crave

And when I lock the back door at the end of the day, I feel a little bolder.

A little more confident that I’m okay here.

Because I have people around me who really care. They’re my support system, scaffolding me so I can get through whatever life throws at me.

I think back to Silas’s question. If I really could go anywhere I wanted to in the world, would I?

Because it feels a little like what I need is right here.

I put Bones on his lead, and we do a little shopping before I head home. A thank-you dinner is in order for Smoke. Not just for racing here that night and putting out the fire for me, but for everything else he’s done since.

He’s shown up for me.

He found assistance to help clean up the kitchen.

He made me breakfast this morning. Poorly sliced toast, which I found endearing, and a wildflower he picked from the yard.

And he’s shown me how my body has always been available for my pleasure in a way I wasn’t sure I’d ever find.

I stop to grab the mail from the mailbox before I go inside, but don’t look at the pile in my hand until I drop it on the counter for Smoke to open when he gets home. On top is an official-looking letter from the fire department.

A small part of me wants to open it, just so I can prepare myself to support him properly when he reads it the first time. I want to be able to forewarn him of its contents. To encourage him to brace himself if it’s bad, or reassure him he has nothing to fear because it’s good.

Thoughts of making a start on dinner flutter out of my head as I hear the sound of tires on the driveway. It’s a small act of progress that I don’t jump.

Bones follows me to the door. I open it wide just as Smoke steps up onto the porch.

“Aren’t you two a sight for sore eyes,” he says, bending down to scratch Bones behind his ears. He puts his arm around my waist and kisses me softly. “Hey, sugar. Been thinking about you all day.”

“Is that a good thing?” I ask, as we linger on the porch, wrapped in each other. He looks tired, like he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. I find myself wanting to keep him out here, just a little while longer, so he can find a moment’s peace before opening the envelope.

“Depends how you view it.”

“When you put it like that, it sounds ominous.”

He kisses my mouth again. “Well, Wraith was talking about how him and Raven and Fen are going on a trip to Mexico, and I was thinking how nice it would be to go on a vacation together away from here. Somewhere you sunbathe naked.”

“That feels like a recipe for sunburn in places God didn’t intend for you to get sunburned.”

Smoke laughs. “I’d make sure you were thoroughly lotioned up before we went anywhere.”

“What else were you thinking about?”

He looks up in thought. “How I’d like to tie you up to the winch hook in the garage while you’re naked and tease you and edge you for a good long while.”

“I like that one better,” I admit.

He puts his hand on my throat and squeezes it tenderly. “That’s my girl.”

“Anything else?” I ask.

Smoke shrugs. “Those were the best thoughts. Apart from thoughts of possibly sleeping in over the weekend, eating those lemon and blueberry scones you make, and being lazy with you.”

I stand up on my toes. “Maybe that sounds best of all.”

He releases me and takes my hand. “What’s for dinner?”

“I got some pork chops. Was going to grill them and serve them with charred apple slices and sweet potato wedges. But you have some mail you might want to open, first.”

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