Page 59 of Whizz

“I’m a simple guy.I’ll just havethe pancakes.”He signaled the waitress, putting through theirorder.Whizz wished there was something for him to say to make lifea little easier for Lacey.She didn’t have anything in life to lookforward to.He’d taken so much from her, and yet there was nothingto give back.Those bastards had also taken from her.When had shenot had something taken from her?The Savage Brothers needed todie.They were a menace and a danger to everyone, but in gettingrid of them, he’d taken from her again.

The waitress left them insilence.Lacey’s hands were locked together in front of her.Shedidn’t pick up her coffee or make any move to prepare her drink byadding milk or sugar.

“When it happened I didn’t thinkit would matter.I woke up inthe hospital, and the doctor was there telling meall these things that had happened.Dalton, he was there holding myhand.I remember thinking I couldn’t have kids, who cares.I wasten years old.Kids were the last thing on my mind.”He reached outto touch her hands.She stared at his hands but didn’t pull away.“As I got older and I started to realize what was taken from me, itstarted to hurt.I can’t have kids.I’ll never be able toexperience that pleasure or pain, carrying and then birthing achild.”She grabbed a napkin and dabbed under her eyes.

His heart was breaking for her.Mostof the women at the club knew what it was like to carry a baby andto give birth.

“It has been hard.I’m not goingto lie and say it hasn’t.There are times I find myself wishing fora family.I think about the future, which is insane because I’mthirty years old.My younger days of planning the future are over.I’m not going to find anyone to settle down with.I can’t havekids.My life has been about revenge for so long.I don’t even knowif I can join back up into the world of the living.”She shook herhead.“I would have loved to have lived a normal life, going out towork, coming home to a husband and a couple of kids, or evenstaying at home being the wife.”Lacey pressed fingers to hertemples.“I’m going insane.There are a lot of things I wish for,Whizz, but there are a lot of people who wish for the same kind ofcrap and don’t get it.I’m no different from all of thosepeople.”

“You are different, Lacey.Peopleget to have that dream at some point.”He thought about Rose.Shecouldn’t have children either.Whizz didn’t know why she couldn’thave children.Her life was falling apart, and she couldn’t even havechildren.

Lacey held his hand once again.“Whizz, I’m fine with being a little different.I’m used to it.IfI could have kids I would have loved to have them.I lovechildren.Ilove family.I get why Butch means so much to you.Family, they’reimportant.I see how The Skulls work.You’re a family, and no onecan take that away from you.”

Whizz wanted to give her thatfamily.How could he give a woman a family when she was incapableof getting one?He’d find a way.There was no way he was going to give upeasily on his woman.

“Here you go.”The waitressplaced their plates in front of them.“I hope youenjoy.”

They still held their hands even astheir food sat between them.

“I’m hungry,” Laceysaid.

He released her hand and watched herpick up her fork and knife.

“Is that why you tried to endit?”he asked, staring at her inner wrist.Ever since the truth hadcome out about who she was, she hadn’t tried to hide her scars fromhim or the ink that decorated her body.

“There were a lot ofreasons to end it.I failed, and I couldn’t do itagain.”

“Why not?”

She took a bite of her breakfast.Hewatched her chewing her food.

“Dalton.”She sucked in herbottom lip, nibbling on the plump flesh.“When I woke up in thehospital again, he told me the next time I tried, if I succeededhe’d join me.I couldn’t risk him losing his life.He had so muchto live for.I wouldn’t try it again knowing he’d kill himself.”She twirled her fork on the plate.“I can’t believe I’m sittinghere living while he’s dead.”

“Don’t think aboutit.”

****

Lacey hated the reminder of what hadhappened in the past.Yes, she wanted kids, lots of kids, butwanting and getting were two different things.She couldn’t havechildren.Over the last ten years she’d accepted her fate of beingalone.There wasn’t any chance of her getting them, so she’d buriedthe need deep down in an attempt to forget about it.Dalton offeredto adopt with her, be her partner.How could they have adopted akid?They moved around faster than disease.Being with the SavageBrothers wasn’t the ideal environment to raise children.She’dturned him down.Lacey hadn’t wanted to share a kid with him.Dalton had been her friend, nothing more.

She should have seen sooner what the clubwas all about.The moment Gonzalez had ordered their deaths twentyyears ago he’d sealed all of their fates.Two generations offamilies affected by one name, Gonzalez.Father and son, each manas evil as the other.The club had been infected like a diseasewith the need to have revenge.That very need for revenge had endedin a lot of death.

Wasit too hard to move forward?Wouldshe always be looking back with the guilt?

“How’s yourfood?”

Looking up, she stared into Whizz’s face.His beautiful dark eyes that were filled with light and dark,called to her.He’d been through a similar pain.Like him, shedidn’t see what he’d been through.Lacey saw the man he was.He’dhave made a brilliant father.She couldn’t give him children evenif he wanted them with her.

“The food’s good.”Sheoffered him a smile, which he returned with one of his own.“Didyou want kids?”

Whizz blew out a breath.“I don’t knowwhat I wanted.Kids were way off the mark for me.I liked to play.I’ve got an entire computer network set up in my room at theclubhouse.You’ve seen it.I’ve not thought about ever havingkids.”

Lacey smiled, glancing down at herfood.“Yeah, I expected to see an endless list of porn.I was quitesurprised that there’s nothing on there.”

Darkness clouded his vision.The smiledisappeared for the merest fraction of a second.If she hadn’t beenwatching him closely she wouldn’t have seen him withdraw from her.Lacey saw it, and it broke her heart.Whizz had a lot of secretsabout his time, just like she did.She’d lied to Dalton in thepast.She remembered everything that happened to her, the pain, thehumiliation of it all.The man before her knew all about pain andtrying to forget.

“I used to have a lot of porn.”He shrugged.She watched him move his pancake around his plate.“There were a lot of things I used to do.”

“Alan took it all away?”Hewinced at the name she spoke.She knew what that was like.For thelongest time she couldn’t bring herself to say the name Gonzalez orto hear it.Living with a club intent on revenge, she’d learned toget over her issues with hearing the name.

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