Page 11 of Hardy

“I’m not going to use him,Fighter.It’s, erm, it’s complicated.”

Fighter nodded.“I didn’t know youbefore.I only know from what I hear at the club.I’m really sorryyou’ve been hurt.You’re a good woman, Rose, a nicewoman.”

“I’m not normally a bitch,”she said, feeling the tears start to well in her eyes.

“I know, and I’m sorry foreverything that has happened.”

“But you think there has tocome a point where I forgive?”

“Don’t you think you should?Imean, it was ten years ago.Your time for playing the pissed offwoman was then.You must have forgiven him at some point.No womanleaves it ten years.”He held his hands up.“Shit, this is not myarea.I’m sorry.”

Rose moved toward the table, taking a seatin front of him.“Don’t go.You don’t have to be upset for whatyou’re saying.I appreciate you being frank with me.It’srefreshing even though it hurts at times.”

“What I say to you is notmeant to hurt you,” Fighter said.

“I know.Ten years ago, I thoughtI couldn’t have kids.I was such a young and stupid fool.Anyway,it affected Hardy’s and my relationship.We pretended it didn’t, but it did.It was my fault.He tried, and I just kept on pushing him away.Weshouldn’t have done that.It was our mistake, and one we didn’ttake the time to talk over, or to change our outlook on life.Wewent on, and on.”Glancing down at her hands, Rose found it hard totalk about their mistakes.“Over time, Hardy started spending moreand more time at the club.He didn’t want to have sex, and I put itdown to him being tired.Stupid, anyway, I caught him actuallyfucking one of the sweet-butts.He was there, in front of my eyes,fucking her.”She cringed recalling the scene as if it wasyesterday.Rose talked about finding out about the sweet-butt beingpregnant, then the loss as she was killed along with thebaby.

“Fucking hell,” Fightersaid.

“It was hard, and then I juststopped.I didn’t talk to Hardy about it.I went on, and I becamethe woman at his side, changing myself to suit him, not myself,even though he didn’t ask me to.I just changed becauseIthought that it waswhat he wanted.I’ve made a lot of mistakes.”She’d even convincedherself that it was what Hardy wanted of her, to change.

“What brought on yoursudden anger?”

Rose tucked some hair behind her ear.“Thegrowth of the club.Angel, Eva, Sophia, Kelsey, they were allhaving babies, and their men were devoted to them.None of themcheated on their woman, and it was like they were living the life Ialways wanted.I was jealous, but the Band-Aid that I’d put over myown wounds, tore off, exposing all of that pain once again.”Shelicked her lips.“Once it was ripped off, there was no going back.I couldn’t change what was happening, and I couldn’t make it bettereven though I wanted to.Everything that happened only seemed tohighlight everything that I’d lost, and that didn’t helpeither.”

“How are you feelingnow?”

“Now?I’m shocked, scared,worried.I’m going to be a mom, and I don’t have a fucking clue ifI’m ready for this.I’d resigned myself to a life without kids.”She pressed a hand to her stomach.“Everything is crazy rightnow.”

“You’ll get through it.Whydidn’t you and Hardy consider adopting like Lacey and Whizzare?”

“He didn’t want to raise akid that wasn’t his blood.I wasn’t going to make him do somethingthat he didn’t want to do.”

“And maybe that was always yourproblem.You weren’t prepared to fight, either of you.Hardy wasn’tabout to let you go, and you weren’t prepared to fight him for whatyou wanted,” Fighter said.

“Are you some kind ofshrink?”

“No, I know things.”Hegave her a wink.“You don’t go around getting your ass kicked fornothing, without understanding.”

Rose frowned.

“I was a psych major before I wasa fighter.”

“I never knewthat.”

“Not a lot of people do,”he said.

“You were incollege?”

“I was in college, and I droppedout.It wasn’t worth what I wanted out of life.”The sound ofanother biker coming had Fighter standing up.“That’s my sign toleave.”

“Have you ever thoughtabout going back to college?”

“No.I don’t want that life.Ibecame a fighter because I was good at it, Rose.I don’t likeworking hard for what I want in life.”He turned and left.Shefollowed him down the long corridor to the door.Baker was standingbehind the door with his hand raised in the air.

“Take care of her, man,”Fighter said.

She watched the two hug and changeplaces.

---