Page 5 of Hardy

She was so embarrassed.Allthese years of pain, and it was all her fault.Rose couldn’tbelieve what was happening, and the fact it was, was crazy.Running fingersthrough her hair.“I don’t have a, regular cycle, I never have, soI don’t always release eggs on time.”They’d done all the necessarytests, and Hardy hadn’t been able to make the appointment all ofthose years ago, and so Rose went alone.He’d been on a run withthe club, something neither of them had been able to change.Lifeback then had been chaotic, and they’d not been married long.Rosehadn’t wanted to put too much pressure on the relationship, butthey were struggling to have kids.She hadn’t waited, and all thebad news had been happening because of her.“First, he suggestedsome treatments to help us conceive, and at the time, we couldn’tafford it.You were busy with club business, and didn’t make allthe appointments.So, when I turned that down, Daniels advised thatwe take a break from having sex for a length of time, and duringthat time I could get checked to monitor my cycle as to when wouldbe the best time for us to try.There were methods that werecheaper, and I didn’t take it in.The other way was for them tohave sperm already on hand from you, so I could get pregnant.Hetried to get me to go to future appointments, but none were kept byeither of us, and Daniels didn’t bring it up as every time he did,I’d cry, and you’d shut down, not wanting to know.We were young,and Daniels figured when we were ready to take alternative routes,we’d talk to him.At the time, Daniels recommended that we wouldabstain from sex.You were perfectly healthy, but because we had alot of sex, your sperm count was low.If you held off then yoursperm count would increase, and overall, we’d possibly getlucky.”

Which they never did because shehadn’t taken his advice, and been too damn upset to hear she wasn’tgoing to get pregnant so easily.She’d watched women get pregnant, and noteven want children, yet she couldn’t, and they were having lots ofsex.

Hardy was silent for severalminutes.

“You mean to tell me that duringour time of separation because I wasn’t using my dick, I built mysperm up higher than usualand we were just lucky that we hit theright time.”

Rose nodded.“Daniels said if you’ve notbeen masturbating, and there hasn’t been any cheating or anything,you’d have accumulated up enough sperm, and if we had unprotectedsex during a month that I released an egg, we increased the chancesof my becoming pregnant.He said it was the luck of the draw.Somecouples just need luck.”

“All this time we couldhave already had kids,” Hardy said.

“Yes.”She stared down at herlap, knowingall of their problems lay at her door.“Daniels isn’t happy that Ihadn’t listened to him.He says we don’t pay him to beignored.”

“What the fuck,Rose?”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you were fuckingsobbing on my shoulder because we couldn’t get pregnant.I fucked awoman I couldn’t stand.Ten years we could have been afamily.”

“I’m sorry.”

He stopped, took a breath, and closedhis eyes.

Rose remained silent, not wanting tointerrupt his moment.

“We’re pregnant?”He finallyspoke after a couple of minutes had passed.

“We’re pregnant.It’s bizarre.Wewere always screwing trying to get pregnant, we couldn’t getpregnant, then you cheated, and we moved on, yet this time, it wasluck.”She shrugged.“I guess you can never really time thesethings.I’m really sorry, Hardy.”

“It’s over, Rose.We can’t changewhat happened, we can only accept it, and we’ve both made mistakes.Fucking hell.I can’t believe we’re finally pregnant,” Hardy said,grabbing her hand.

“We’re going to have a baby.”This had been the last thing she ever expected.No matter whathappened, she couldn’t change their relationship.“It doesn’tchange anything, Hardy.”

He paused.“Rose, you’re not going topush me out of our kid’s life.”

“I know.I just, I don’t knowwhat to do with us.”She looked between them, pointing at his chestthen her own.They had both fucked up, and she accepted that.Rosedidn’t want to go back to what they had.

“Don’t do this,Rose.”

“I can’t stop.”

“No, you’ve got to stop.Forfuck’s sake, it was ten years ago.I’m not holding shit overyou.”

“And it still happened.I nevercheated on you.I never fucked another man.I’ve never been withanother man,” she said.

He got up, storming away.She watchedhim start to pace from one of the room to another.

“This isn’t going to work betweenus.”Rose was more convinced now than ever before.They’d gone frombeing young, to being set in their ways.They were two differentpeople.

“All these months I thought wewere growing closer, but it wasn’t what you wanted.You were usingme, weren’t you?”he asked,

There was a short distance betweenthem, and Rose struggled to swallow past the lump in her throat.“Yes.”

“I fucked up, Rose, and I’mmore than sorry about that.”

“We can’t changeit.”

“Exactly.We can’t change thefucking fact that I fucked another woman.I was young, I wasstupid, a selfish bastard, and it’s my biggest regret.I’ve notlooked at another woman, Rose.I’ve not looked at another woman inten years.I’ve not wanted another woman.The only one I want isyou.”He dropped back down in front of her, cupping her face.“Don’t do this to us.”

---