Page 90 of Duplicity

She grimaces. ‘So-so. She’s relieved it’s over, but she’s exhausted and emotionally drained. She finds it very upsetting when Tabby’s in surgery, obviously, and there aren’t any parents’ beds in the ICU so she spent last night in an armchair. So yeah. I think it’s pretty shitty for her, even if she’s been putting on a brave face for me.’

Of course she has, because that’s what she does. She turns up for work every morning looking perfectly professional and breathtakingly beautiful, and she focuses on me and my childish, irrelevant fucking needs like I’m the centre of her universe and she doesn’t have a terrifyingly sick kid waiting at home for an operation that needs to happen yesterday. She’s a grafter, and a trooper, and I wonder when the last time was that she put herself first.

I bet she wouldn’t be able to tell me if I asked her.

My heart has been breaking for this little girl I don’t know, but now it’s breaking for her amazing mother, the woman who got under my skin. The woman I treated like dog shit when I got the fear that I was catching feelings.

There are a lot of things I’m not good at, but Iamgood at throwing my weight around and throwing my toys and throwing money at situations where palms need to be greased—I’m good at throwing things, basically.

I may not be fit for Marlowe to wipe the floor with, but I can definitely make myself useful. I can go over there and be the person to advocate for her. I bet she’s fierce when she’s advocating for her daughter, but I bet she’s meek when they tellher they can’t do better than an armchair. We’ll soon see about that.

And if she needs a break, then maybe, just maybe, she’ll trust me enough to sit with Tabby so her mum can take five for herself. I imagine her pale and drawn, with those same dark circles under her eyes that she had the day we napped together.

Well, that’s decided then.

‘I’m going to go over,’ I tell them. ‘She needs someone in her corner. It’s fucking ridiculous that she should have to face this alone. I mean, what was she thinking?’

Athena gives me a small smile that I think means approval. ‘I’ll come with you. Then I can spend some time with my goddaughter so you can get Marls out of the hospital for some air.’

I like that idea. I like it a lot. And I can see that if I were a sick eight-year-old in a strange hospital in a strange country with a hole in my chest, I’d rather be with my godmother than some random guy. ‘You’re on.’

‘But you’ve both got the summit tomorrow,’ my brother points out, and I blink. The fucking summit. It feels like it’s happening in an alternate universe. The idea of turning up like some smug fuck and boring everyone senseless with my wanky speech while Marlowe sits, pale-faced and exhausted and alone, in some hospital room, is unthinkable.

‘Not happening. I’ll call Pl—Elaine and get her to sort the jet out. They’ll have to find someone else to take my slot.’ I glance at Athena. Her turn.

‘You’ll have to man the stall, darling,’ she tells my brother, wrapping her arms around his neck. He slides his hands around her waist and gazes at her like she’s the living embodiment of Our Lady, who was definitely his favourite woman before Athena came along.

It’s the way Marlowe deserves to have me look at her. It’s the way I should have looked at her this entire time, except that I’ve been a big, hairy coward.

‘Not a problem,’ he says like the serene fucker that he is, and kisses her softly on the lips. ‘You guys should go and be with Marlowe.’

‘Let me call Elaine. We should go tonight.’ I’m fully mobilised now, all my impulses coursing through my veins like crack. I’ve made my decision and I’m ready to take action without delay.

But Athena, ever the pragmatist, shakes her head. ‘You won’t get clearance to fly this evening. Anyway, Tabs is still in ICU so we couldn’t visit even if we wanted to. Apparently they’re hoping to move her in the morning. We should go first thing tomorrow.’

I hate that she’s right. ‘Fine.’ I turn away to call Elaine. She doesn’t sound thrilled to hear from me, and there’s a kid making noise in the background. Usually I wouldn’t think twice about interrupting her evening with her family, but Marlowe’s bombshell has me rattled.

‘Hey. Sorry to bother you, but it’s an emergency. I need you to get the jet ready to take me to the US tomorrow so I can go see Marlowe.’

There’s a silence that I take for confusion.

‘She’s over there with her daughter,’ I explain. ‘Tabby. She had an?—’

She interjects. ‘Yes, I know.’ Jesus fuck, was everyone in on this except for me? ‘But I’m not convinced she’ll want to see you.’

My face heats. I feel like a naughty little boy who’s been found out.

‘What do you mean?’ I bluster.

‘I don’t usually speak to you like this, but honestly, you’ve behaved like a Grade A twat to that poor girl. The way you treated her on Friday was nothing short of disgusting. She was in pieces when she left.’

The idea of her beingin piecesrather than fucking furious, which is how I perceived her emotional state when she safed out, is yet another gut-punch. I can see it all too well from Elaine’s perspective, unfortunately: if she’s been privy to Marlowe’s secret struggles, then seeing the fallout from me and my mates trying to have some fun at her expense must seem horrific. Still, I’m not about to let my PA’s judgement derail what is an important mission here.

‘I don’t disagree, but I’m trying to make amends. Look, she’s all alone over there with no reprieve and no one to look out for her. I’d like to go and make myself useful, so sort the jet, please. I’ll tread carefully, I promise.’

Elaine’s right. There’s an excellent chance Marlowe shows me the door as soon as I turn up there, but I have to go along anyway.

I have to at least try to take some of this burden from her.

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