Page 133 of The Boss Problem

He didn’t lean in. “Chloe made you a nicer person, Dad. I want her back.”

I put my hands down, feeling a heavy weight in my heart. Perhaps Lucas could handle the truth.

“I fought for her, Lucas. I love her deeply and wanted more from her. A proper home and a relationship I could announce to the world. But she … didn’t feel the same.”

“Maybe all she needs is some time, Dad. Because she knows what a wonderful person you are. She told me so herself. She’llcome back to you—I’m sure of it. Just like how Mom came back to me.”

I knelt down on the ground next to him, trying to process the sudden onslaught of emotions that hit me. “Lucas,” I breathed out, pulling him to me for a hug. I ruffled his hair, taken aback at his confidence in me. “Thank you, son. But I hope to prove to you that I can be a nice person even if Chloe isn’t around.”

He drew back from me stubbornly. “I want Chloe back. She loves spending time with me.”

I looked around the room, wishing I could point to everything I’d done to show him how much I cared for him, too, when I remembered Helen’s comment. I wasn’t buying his love with money. No.

“Lucas,” I said looking at him evenly. “I love spending time with you too. If you weren’t my son, I wouldn’t be who I am today. Instead of being with you on your eighth birthday party, I’d be sipping from a bottle of scotch on the couch, passed out and lost. If I was not your father, I wouldn’t end my workday thinking about how to build our next tree house or fly a drone together. I would have spent my evenings setting up more business meetings and being the same miserable person every day. I’ve changed so much by having you, and you’re my biggest source of pride, son. Never ever feel like you are unwanted. You are so much wanted and loved by me and your mom.”

I sat down cross-legged next to him, feeling blessed to have this chance, to have his attention on me. How much I’d craved it, having him listen to me, to talk to me, and trust me with what happened to him. It was a privilege, and I’d taken it for granted. Five years from now, I knew I'd be begging for his time and attention, after brushing him off when he’d asked for the same from me.

I put my hands on his shoulders. “I’m sorry, son, that I haven’t been a great dad for the first eight years of your life. Ipromise you, Lucas, that I’ll try to be a better dad from here on out.”

He gave me a doubtful look, and I shook my head in disbelief.

“Is it so hard to believe that I can be a good dad?”

He gave me a half shrug and an expression that said,Duh.

“Well,” I said, “how about this? I’ll try to be a better person first. Can you believe I can do that?”

He considered that before finally, excruciatingly painfully giving me a single nod. “Okay,” he said.

Lucas pointed to the bouncy castle behind us. “Hey, want to go spook the Spider-Man who’s walking with his back to us?”

I stood up and gave him my hand. “I can be very quiet,” I promised, following him.

60

CHLOE

The sun was streaming through the windows, casting a warm glow on the tiny living room.

Henry rolled backward and forward in his wheelchair restlessly while I sat on the couch, staring at the wall.

It had been a month since I’d ended things with Sean, and I still couldn’t stop feeling distraught.

I’d tried to tell myself that I’d done the right thing for Henry. Even so, my heart said losing what I’d had with Sean felt stupid, like I’d made a big mistake. Even learning that I’d passed my PMP exam didn’t make me feel better.

I haven’t lost anything; I reminded myself.

Henry was still here. I was still here. We had a roof over our heads, a bank account that would pull me along for the next six months even if I didn’t find a job, and so much to look forward to with Henry’s upcoming graduation party. I hadn’t even considered going to the small ceremony that the continuing education program was holding later today for the people who’d gotten their PMP certificate.

None of that seemed to matter when my phone wouldn’t light up with Sean’s call or text.

The fears of entering a relationship with Sean had been many, and I’d told myself I wouldn’t get too consumed by Sean’s love. But his love for me had been so quiet, so silent, when it enveloped me in its warmth that I didn’t realize how messed up I’d gotten after getting involved with him. I’d realized it only when I was hopelessly in love with Sean.

Every night when I went to sleep on the bed Sean had delivered home for me, I thought of him. Sean had shown me he didn’t want to leave me. I didn’t scare him off. Henry didn’t scare him off. It wasn’t a fling at all. It had been a solid relationship, one I shouldn’t have had to walk away from.

I watched as Henry rolled down the hallway, briefly glancing at the family photos and personal trinkets decorating the walls. Then, I followed and entered Henry’s room after him. It, too, had pictures. An old one of Mom’s with me and Henry. In it, I was seven, and we were photographed outside in the snow. Henry was moments away from flinging a snowball at me, and I had a cheeky grin on my face, as though I knew exactly how I was going to dodge that ball. It was twenty-one years ago.

The silence stretched again. Miserably.

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